“A broken and contrite heart, O Lord, you will not despise.” Psalm 51:17
It is difficult sometimes to have a mental deficit that keeps me on guard during schizophrenic episodes, and remember who I am underneath it all. I get lost in the stories that fill my mind and they often are very anti-spiritual, definitely anti-Christ in persuasion, and my faith is buried in an effort to protect the Heart that is so precious to me, one that developed in a Love that taught me to accept myself as I am, and give all of myself in service to Love for another. Continue reading
The darkness of the early morn covers me like a shroud. The prayer of my slow rhythmic breath is felt upon the skin of my folded hands, fingers interlaced and humbly I’m knelt in submission to the peace I so rarely know in the midst of my mental battles, yet drawn back during the moments of sanity I am graced with now. In this act my life is resurected once more. Continue reading
I am accustomed to extreme bouts of mental unrest, and far too many events of staggering confusion in my disease of Paranoid Schizophrenia. At times, my mind becomes the battlefield of a war that seems to never end and the carnage is the deep wounds of a fractured psyche and phobias that resonate with the call to arms in a futile attempt at control. Continue reading
“Religion has lost sight of Jesus’ message…We aren’t focused on the great mystery. Rather religion has tended to create people who think they have God in their pockets, people with quick, easy glib answers. That is why so much of the West is understandably abandoning religion. People know the great mystery cannot be that simple and facile. If the great mystery is indeed the Great Mystery, it will lead us into paradox, into darkness, and into journeys that never cease. That is what prayer is about.”
~ Fr. Richard Rohr (a Jesuit Priest)
One of the wonderful things about prayer is that it isn’t predictable. It is delving into the the ultimate unknown, but never is it unknowable. Continue reading
I’ve mentioned often my quest for Wisdom and seeking silent serenity through prayer and meditation. It is not always easy to quiet the mind especially for someone who has ADHD and is Schizophrenic. The mind races all the time and though medicine help quiet that down some it is still like trying to find a quiet moment in Grand Central Station. Continue reading
This morning I sat on the patio and watched the Dawn break up the canopy of night and replace the twinkle of the heavens with brilliant blues and rays of yellow and orange. I watch this time after time, morning after morning and I never tire of it. Continue reading
As I thought about what to type I adjourned from my place before the computer to a separate retreat for prayer. In what follows I wanted to try and capture what takes place for me during these times, which in itself is an instructional guide for me.
There are many forms of Prayer from countless religious traditions, and I have experienced, at least in part, many of these. Continue reading
Ideo dilexit me amare.
Amo ergo sum.
One of the most beautiful and gracious gifts I’ve received as a result of my spiritual journey is the constant confirmation that “I am loved.” Continue reading
“Few things under heaven are as instructive as the lessons of Silence”
In the early morn, the stillness of darkness is balanced by the passive reflection of the bright moon. There are no clouds and though my part of the world is covered in shadow, the ambient glow makes the aura of the hour much more compelling to be awake. Continue reading
In Tibetan, the word for blessing means “transformation through majesty or power.” In short, the meaning of blessing is to bring about, as a result of the experience, a transformation in one’s mind for the better.
This has been the Truth I have found on my Spiritual Journey through life. The “renewing of my mind” is not something that is just the result of what I read, but the experience of a power greater than myself drawing from God, my Higher Power, Creation, the Universe, my inner self, whatever is most comfortable to term it for you, the majesty of wonder and awe that inspires and remolds my understanding into something I have never known before. Continue reading
Sometimes my worst nights are followed by my greatest insights into myself and the Truths this Life presents to me. As I lay in the darkness, unable to sleep, but neither am I plagued with the mental attacks I wrote of yesterday, I am overwhelmed with the Truth that I am centered in Love and that Love is with me through the best of times and the worst of times, even when I lose sight of it. Continue reading
I’ve mentioned before that I’m sort of a loner, the solitary type; I keep to myself, and strive for the knowledge that can only be found within oneself most of all, and then look for it in kind in the world in which I dwell. Continue reading
The journey into the self is the greatest journey of discovery that I have ever traversed. It has no end as long as I’m alive, I keep evolving, I keep discovering deeper levels to who I am and Truths that define me not only as a person, but as One with humanity and the rest of the Universe. Continue reading