Finding my need for atonement again

“A broken and contrite heart, O Lord, you will not despise.”  Psalm 51:17

It is difficult sometimes to have a mental deficit that keeps me on guard during schizophrenic episodes, and remember who I am underneath it all.  I get lost in the stories that fill my mind and they often are very anti-spiritual, definitely anti-Christ in persuasion, and my faith is buried in an effort to protect the Heart that is so precious to me, one that developed in a Love that taught me to accept myself as I am, and give all of myself in service to Love for another.  Continue reading

Intimate kiss of silence…

The darkness of the early morn covers me like a shroud.  The prayer of my slow rhythmic breath is felt upon the skin of my folded hands, fingers interlaced and humbly I’m knelt in submission to the peace I so rarely know in the midst of my mental battles, yet drawn back during the moments of sanity I am graced with now.  In this act my life is resurected once more. Continue reading

Faith or Imagination?

I have found that much of what I use to believe or call faith was just imagination.  When I was younger and new to Christianity they told me to have faith and God would grant me that which I asked of him….then they would add, “as long as it isn’t selfish.”  It took me years of frustrated blind ignorance to come to understand that everything is selfish when I’m not surrendered to someone or something greater than myself.  Even my prayers for others would be selfish, or my service to the poor.  It all stems from “I feel sympathy” or “I feel good when I do this for you, or others”.  It all has a motivational basis within us that in some way or another ultimately comes back to what we get from the action.   Continue reading

Twilight’s fire!

This morning I sat on the patio and watched the Dawn break up the canopy of night and replace the twinkle of the heavens with brilliant blues and rays of yellow and orange.  I watch this time after time, morning after morning and I never tire of it. Continue reading

Gospel of Thomas (v.9)

The sower went out, filled his hand and sowed.  Some seeds fell on the road; birds came and gathered them up.  Others fell on the rock and did not root in the earth and did not produce.  Others fell among thorns; the thorns choked the seeds and worms ate them.  But others fell on good ground and brought forth good fruit.  These yielded sixty per measure and one hundred and twenty measures.

Continue reading

True Prayer

As I thought about what to type I adjourned from my place before the computer to a separate retreat for prayer.  In what follows I wanted to try and capture what takes place for me during these times, which in itself is an instructional guide for me.

There are many forms of Prayer from countless religious traditions, and I have experienced, at least in part, many of these. Continue reading

The Gospel of Thomas (v.8)

Humankind is like a wise fesherman who cast his net into the sea.  He drew it out of the sea full of small fish.  The wise fisherman found among them a large, good fish.  He threw all the small fish back into the sea and chose the large fish without hesitation.  Whoever has ears to hear, let him hear. Continue reading

The voice of God

“Few things under heaven are as instructive as the lessons of Silence”

~Lao Tsu

In the early morn, the stillness of darkness is balanced by the passive reflection of the bright moon.  There are no clouds and though my part of the world is covered in shadow, the ambient glow makes the aura of the hour much more compelling to be awake. Continue reading

Transformation

In Tibetan, the word for blessing means “transformation through majesty or power.”  In short, the meaning of blessing is to bring about, as a result of the experience, a transformation in one’s mind for the better.

~Dalai Lama

This has been the Truth I have found on my Spiritual Journey through life.  The “renewing of my mind” is not something that is just the result of what I read, but the experience of a power greater than myself drawing from God, my Higher Power, Creation, the Universe, my inner self, whatever is most comfortable to term it for you, the majesty of wonder and awe that inspires and remolds my understanding into something I have never known before. Continue reading

Love Eternal

Sometimes my worst nights are followed by my greatest insights into myself and the Truths this Life presents to me.  As I lay in the darkness, unable to sleep, but neither am I plagued with the mental attacks I wrote of yesterday, I am overwhelmed with the Truth that I am centered in Love and that Love is with me through the best of times and the worst of times, even when I lose sight of it. Continue reading

The Long Journey of Self

The journey into the self is the greatest journey of discovery that I have ever traversed.  It has no end as long as I’m alive, I keep evolving, I keep discovering deeper levels to who I am and Truths that define me not only as a person, but as One with humanity and the rest of the Universe. Continue reading

Just As I Am

I’m, for the most part, a solitary man, keeping to myself, that doesn’t mean I don’t have a wild social side to me, I just keep that in check for the most part and only let that part of me see the light of day on special occasions with close friends.   Continue reading

One with the Way

“Only simple and quiet words will ripen of themselves…

He who cultivates the Tao is one with the Tao”

              ~Lao Tsu Continue reading