I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life.

“I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life.  No one comes to the Father except through me.”  John 14:6cross2

“The student is not above the teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like their teacher.”  Luke 6:40

“If you’re not willing to be Jesus, don’t preach Jesus.”  ~ proverb of Zion

I must admit, I followed what I was taught blindly a very long time before I stopped looking to others to teach me what they knew about Jesus and started listening to His teachings for myself.  I stopped buying bibles with commentary, and started writing in the margins as I pondered the Truths that seemed to resonate in the message that I found Jesus to be teaching.  It is a painful memory for me to acknowledge that through some of the toughest struggles in my life, when I sought fellow Christians for answers they quote things to me like:  “God never gives us more than we can handle.”  and “Just keep your eyes on Jesus, and He will lead you through it.”   Continue reading

The Sacred

long-journeyA day off, and I need a change of scenery!  I need more than that…I need to experience something of significance.  I need to step out of my day to day, beyond the casual escape of the routine and into the profound; I need to step into something Sacred. Continue reading

Along the Way…

truth (1)I had a rough patch on my desire for answers and Truth the last year or so, crisis of faith so to speak.  I’m not one to mince words about my relationship with “God”; although saturated with Christian ideas, it is hardly your average Christian religious devotion anymore, and if what I suspect I will find along my path in the years to come proves true then the balance I seek will also find my ideas saturated with Buddhist teachings as I incorporate my eclectic studies and various interests into a coherent understanding of what brings me closest to my desire for Truth, Understanding, and most of all, a level of peace between me and the world in which I find myself. Continue reading

When the evidence is clear!

The evidence required for the next step in the journey will present itself eventually as patience always has its way.At what point do we speculate about our beliefs and continue because this is what we have always done or in the obvious awareness of our information do we acknowledge that we can’t co-exist pretending one thing while aware and pursuing something that is totally contrast to that former way of existence.  This could be hypothetical for any number of circumstances, when does a spouse stop pretending that the mate isn’t having extramarital affairs?  When do we acknowledge what we believe spiritually is no longer consistent with the church we have attended or in line with the traditions of our family or culture and what point do we initiate change, and accept the consequences of it because the duality of living one set of values for appearances, and another as a result of personal quest and experience?  When does a person quit pretending they are something they are not for acceptance, for tradition, for fear of reprisals, for any reason accept to be who they are and bring their in-congruent selves into unity so they can live ONE LIFE as who we are and who we are meant to be? Continue reading

Finding my need for atonement again

“A broken and contrite heart, O Lord, you will not despise.”  Psalm 51:17

It is difficult sometimes to have a mental deficit that keeps me on guard during schizophrenic episodes, and remember who I am underneath it all.  I get lost in the stories that fill my mind and they often are very anti-spiritual, definitely anti-Christ in persuasion, and my faith is buried in an effort to protect the Heart that is so precious to me, one that developed in a Love that taught me to accept myself as I am, and give all of myself in service to Love for another.  Continue reading

Intimate kiss of silence…

The darkness of the early morn covers me like a shroud.  The prayer of my slow rhythmic breath is felt upon the skin of my folded hands, fingers interlaced and humbly I’m knelt in submission to the peace I so rarely know in the midst of my mental battles, yet drawn back during the moments of sanity I am graced with now.  In this act my life is resurected once more. Continue reading

Faith or Imagination?

I have found that much of what I use to believe or call faith was just imagination.  When I was younger and new to Christianity they told me to have faith and God would grant me that which I asked of him….then they would add, “as long as it isn’t selfish.”  It took me years of frustrated blind ignorance to come to understand that everything is selfish when I’m not surrendered to someone or something greater than myself.  Even my prayers for others would be selfish, or my service to the poor.  It all stems from “I feel sympathy” or “I feel good when I do this for you, or others”.  It all has a motivational basis within us that in some way or another ultimately comes back to what we get from the action.   Continue reading

The Gospel of Thomas (v. 11)

This heaven will pass away and that which is above it will pass away.  The dead are not alive and the living will not die.  In the days when you ate what is dead, you made it alive.  When you come into the light, what will you do?  On the day when you were one, you became two.  But when you have become two, what will you do?

     ~Gospel of Thomas (v.11)

This is a very cryptic line that Jesus spoke to his disciples concerning the purpose and meaning of life, as they knew it, as he knew it, and as God knows it.  There are two levels of heaven that Jesus refers to here, or rather two perceptions of heaven both will pass away.  The first, this heaven, that which we create through Love on Earth, and more personally, Jesus was referring to Himself, will pass away; he died on the Cross and our mortality is limited.  The heaven above refers to that which took place prior to Creation, before their was opportunity to become enlightened and as we Christians refer to it, redeemed.  Continue reading

A peace without pictures.

I am accustomed to extreme bouts of mental unrest, and far too many events of staggering confusion in my disease of Paranoid Schizophrenia.  At times, my mind becomes the battlefield of a war that seems to never end and the carnage is the deep wounds of a fractured psyche and phobias that resonate with the call to arms in a futile attempt at control.   Continue reading

Prayer…

“Religion has lost sight of Jesus’ message…We aren’t focused on the great mystery.  Rather religion has tended to create people who think they have God in their pockets, people with quick, easy glib answers.  That is why so much of the West is understandably abandoning religion. People know the great mystery cannot be that simple and facile.  If the great mystery is indeed the Great Mystery, it will lead us into paradox, into darkness, and into journeys that never cease.  That is what prayer is about.”  

~ Fr. Richard Rohr  (a Jesuit Priest)

One of the wonderful things about prayer is that it isn’t predictable.  It is delving into the the ultimate unknown, but never is it unknowable.  Continue reading

The Gospel of Thomas (v.10)

I have cast fire on the world and, look, I am guarding it until it blazes.

 

If any person has had words that have sparked a flame in the heart of people and grew to brilliance, Jesus is definitely one of them.  The wisdom in his teachings are impressive and I love how he teaches with story and parable.  In the very effort of understanding him he weeds out those who desire to know from those who have no passion for Wisdom. Continue reading

The Breath of Life

I’ve mentioned often my quest for Wisdom and seeking silent serenity through prayer and meditation.  It is not always easy to quiet the mind especially for someone who has ADHD and is Schizophrenic.  The mind races all the time and though medicine help quiet that down some it is still like trying to find a quiet moment in Grand Central Station.   Continue reading

Gospel of Thomas (v.9)

The sower went out, filled his hand and sowed.  Some seeds fell on the road; birds came and gathered them up.  Others fell on the rock and did not root in the earth and did not produce.  Others fell among thorns; the thorns choked the seeds and worms ate them.  But others fell on good ground and brought forth good fruit.  These yielded sixty per measure and one hundred and twenty measures.

Continue reading