Jewels in my Crown

honours471eAs with everything in my life, I alter the plans to work best for me in accomplishing the goals to be achieved from the pattern most of the rest of the world follows.  My idiosyncrasies prohibit me from achieving the desired outcome if I try to do things the way others do them; I spent a lot of years learning this about myself…if I do it another’s way, I always fail, without exception…I know how to adapt things for me, and when came to raising three children, I did the same thing.  I made decisions that would achieve the goals I set for them.  When I looked into the lives others who either were raising children, or had raised children I saw two common denominators…those successes and/or the failures in the lives of the children could always be traced back to the decisions of the parents, and those successes parents always take credit for, and the failures they always blame the children.

My children were unfortunate enough to wind up in a dysfunctional family, with parents who continually made bad choices and thought life was one big fucking party.  If I made choices concerning them the way I made choices for myself, they would have grown up making the same type of choices that I made, and from the beginning I didn’t want that for them, and so I sought the tools they would need to have so that I could make sure that by the time they were stepping into adulthood they would be prepared to face those decisions in a way I never considered before;  and not be jaded and scarred with a lifetime of learning life’s lessons the hard way. Continue reading

Venting about a work ethic!

There is something seriously wrong with people today.  I’m not trying to point fingers, but goddamn’t why does everybody think that the entire fucking world should be catered to them!!  I swear to God I find this everywhere!  It’s like the entire culture here in America thinks that if I don’t get what I want, I should bitch, and if it doesn’t happen then it’s conspiracy against me!

Seriously, when you have a problem with your neighbor, do you go to your neighbor, or go to your landlord?  When you have a problem with you coworker, do you go to that coworker, or do you go to your boss?  Do you want to save the relationship or just be right?  I’m of the conclusion that there is virtually no one who actually cares about their relationships anymore, they don’t want to fix it, they want to be right, and they want their way!! Period!!!  So they don’t care!  I just want the problem solved, and I shouldn’t have to deal with it!!  Are you fucking kidding me!!!!!!!  Is anyone actually mature in America anymore?????? Continue reading

One…

diversity02_transparentIt seems to me to honestly understand a culture, a group, an ideology, then one must at least try to see it from the perspective of those who are apart of it.  Having been an avid “seeker” all of my adult life, I have sought Truth in various forms and embraced the avenues that I looked to for answers.  Although I’m not a practitioner of the Christian Religion, I found many of my answers in the Truth that their Savior professed and I did so by embracing those traditions.  In the process I learned a lot about people, about similarities and differences. Continue reading

Don’t stop believing!

Don't stop believing!In life, I’ve found the hardest struggles I face are the those that come against a lack of faith in myself; when the obstacle against success or failure is me the real threat is my own ability to believe in my chances to achieve whatever it is I’m after.  This is a devastating blow to the goals of my life every single time….I have to believe in my own abilities or I succumb to a failure of my dreams before I even begin the attempt to bring them into reality. Continue reading

Zion: a meaning, and something new

The summer that found me a decade ago at the County courthouse records filing the paperwork required for me to legally change my name from something I hated to a new view on life that I hoped one day would prove prophetic, I chose the name of Zion Marion Amoure, Heaven’s Beloved Jeremiah 29;11Love, because I embraced a belief that I must be the love of God and more for the dreamGirl of my fantasy and I thought that meant that I was to be beloved of God, because if i were not then how would I ever be such a love that could only be produced through God.

Continue reading

Do Over!!

When I was kid, there was a secret that allowed me to always erase the past and begin again no matter what fantasy I was enacting with my toys, among my friends, or just playing Pitfall or Donkey Kong on my atari 2600; I hit reset when it just got to be too much and called:  “Do over!” and everybody knew what happened before that no longer mattered, i was starting over and that was that!!


 

 

I think life deserves these little moments, and now living at my ripe age of empty-nest and the perfect time for my moment to come, I’m calling: “Do over!”

 

My 3 children are all in college, 3 different Universities, I’ve been single for 13 years, and I’ve been working for myself for many years in a construction profession I’ve never enjoyed, and I’m eager to leave this whole life behind, with the exception of my children….of whom I’ve never been prouder as they all are setting their sites on their ambitions and none of them let fear stand in the way of ultimately chasing their dreams, including the hard work that is required to achieve them…they will just have to find me as I do them in the future lives unfolding before us.  🙂

 

I am committed to leaving Oregon….it’s a beautiful state, but I grew up here, and every attempt I’ve made to get away from this fucking place has ended up in this town I graduated high school from sucking me back in like a black hole, and I can’t stand that I always end up doing the work I hate and I end up giving up on living because I feel there is no more adventure, no more purpose, and no more reason to strive for something never before achieved.  I get depressed and I give up!  For me, the grass is greener somewhere else.  I love new places, the having to find out about a new area, establish a new way interacting with others, the whole since of being “born again” is always invigorating and I’m going to do just that.

 

I have a friend in Mound, Minnesota….I’ve never been East, and so I have a plan to

Everybody deserves a chance to change their lives.

move within the month, a place to stay as I get settled, and I’m looking for work, hopefully in the writing profession that I desire, but anything other than tape & texture will be fantastic, and I do have some skills to call upon in the social service area to aid in that. 

 

I will be purchasing my train tickets, I love traveling by Amtrak, and you can be looking forward to seeing more posts as I journey cross country and all that experience in both this new adventure and in the wisdom I gain as I begin anew.   It is exciting to anticipate and I look forward to writing about it as well. 

 

My new adventure begins the middle of July…please stay tune and enjoy the ride! 

 

 

“Do OVER!!!!!”   🙂

 

 

 

 

And yet another blog…

I want to share yet another blog entry with everyone here at my premiere and first blog at wordpress.  I have a blog for the purpose and discussion on dreams, goals, plans for the future….a site to keep positvie thoughts churning on our travels towards the impossible and the desitny that can’t be lived without.  In this post I share the necessity for inspiration and ask for my readers to share some of their inspirations that remind them why they began their pursuit of the goal in the first place, and what keeps them from quitting?

Please come have a read and share some of your inspirations while your there.

Inspiration is a need that must be met when striving for a dream!

A new post at my other blog…

Just a quick update to share a new post I just made at my blogger account.  Please stop by for a read, it is the site I will use for my occasional comments on love, romance and my obsession for the dream girl that I never forget and never relent on hope for tomorrow.

 

visit soon

New Post by Zion Amoure at his blog.

Using religion as diving board for new possibilities!

Writing the universe is a chore of one word in a chord of three producing a voice for the time of now.It is an apparent reality that humanity has endeavored most of it’s existance in the attempt to explain itself and the unknown circumstances, calamities, and phenomena in one fashion or another, and the most common of those mediums has been the faucet of religion.  Throughout religious dogma, writings, and traditions we find the unexplained tackled with zeal Continue reading

I hope everyone is having a wonderful day.

I hope everyone is having a wonderful day.  I am avidly working on the calendar system for the universe in which my future stories will find their place, and with that I draft new language, new science, and the limits of my new wonders seem boundless and I’m eager to develope them into the great adventures that they will soon be for the many who choose to take them into their own minds and live them as well.

I’ll keep this short today, as I’ve already placed a couple of posts on other blogs, please visit if you find the time to do so.

http://believepassion.blogspot.com/

and

http://ifihadadream.blogspot.com/

I hope you find the time to visit.  Peace and Love be with you.

Zion Marion Amoure

I walk alone…

It is the mantra of the one who never seems to fit the mold of the system, click, or culture that he finds himself emersed within:  I walk alone!  It is a truth that has resounded through the vast corridors of my past and still resonates in the rhythm that continues to be the iambic of my solitary march through life.  It hasn’t really ever mattered whether or not I was surrounded by people, watchers, holy or unholy, it just seems that I’m an odd fit when made to be applied to any role other than the One I always play, and that role doesn’t allow for the rigidity to be locked down to the narrow criteria of most systems codes or rules for qualifying membership.  I just don’t approach life the same way I find most others predisposed to do….and it is distressing from the point of view of romance and friendship, because I never wanted to be a reclusive sage that piled away his wisdom and never allowed the beauty of truly touching the heart and soul of another so as to share in the treasure that only such complete abandonment to merging of selves can ever hope to discover; the walk of one is for those who should be leaders, commanders, the people who can handle the cost of bearing the burden of their charge alone, setting the standard for those that look to them for the courage and fortitude necessarry to continue when the path seems to have given up all sign of finding the refuge they now desperately find themselves in need.  I’m a good assessor of people, a wise man of descerment, but the valiant stable leader who walks alone in all he does has never been my strong characteristic, it is just a fact of life that I have learned to tolerate as my inability to trust others and my circumstances helped to dictate that I must carry on alone iof I am to carry on at all.  This is how I find my circumstances so this is what I do, so far from the desire of the future that I always dream will come to fruition in my life along ths never ending journey that I know I will tarry along….forever.

I always tell myself the Truth!  It is liberating and at the same time a heavy burden as the freedom to accept that life is what it is while the knowing of the hidden things from the eyes of others keeps me from ever really being one with the same group, because I know, I’m out!  It is the fact that I know that I am often faced with the reality that I must chose to ignore the truth and carry on as I am in defiance of the glaring problems that exist and insist that are not in my view or in my life; thus I just pretend everything is okay.  Or do I choose to find a new place and expect that the grass is greener on the other side of the same planet?  Doubtful, the same things will be found in the same garden, the same toils, snares and pitfalls in the same wilderness among the same specie.  It is the way of the reality where I find myself to be.  To confront is an effort that has proven to be a task in frutility as it produces the same results everytime, and this is something that I can no longer tolerate participating in, so the quandry persists….how do I fare in this?  how do I find my place to contribute to others in a world that my place is always somewhere else that has no portal to step through to enter.  I’m a pathfinder, with a path that doesn’t exist to follow, and I am finding it a grave depression to continue to just fight to exist when my existence is never what I fought to have in the first place!

I am having an emotional delima over the fact that it appears that even though I find it intriguing to know the purpose and meaning of my life, to know I’m a lover and a friend that sets the standard for such beyond expectation while never seeking anyone to commit to such an application of devotion themselves; this is how I view love.  I don’t seek to be loved the way I desire and love another, but I do seek to be needed so that my commitment is both necessary and valued.  This allows me to experience the purposefulness of the very things I worked so hard to attain in the fight to become a man worthy to be given such an honor.  In the process of that war to change the essence of this man I lost the things I once held dear, those preoccupation that once defined the beliefs I thought to be the point of existence left to gather dust in the deseart that parched my soul and refined me into the birth of a new creation that understands life, relations, the universe, and so much more in far different terms than what I began with as young man with a foreign name and a serious lack of meaning to go with it.

Out of the desert walked the One that calls himself Zion Amoure, the meaning being that of Heaven’s Love, not so much to be equated with any one religions view, as the heaven I envision is not described in any such texts that I have foudn, but it is a reflection and description of the Love I sought to learn from the teachings of Jesus, and have applied to allow me to love with unconditional fervor for another.  It is only with such determined commitment that love breaks through the strongest boundry of another … “fear”!  Love must prove that it will never be lost, could never be wronged to such an extent that it will cease to exist or turn away from the object of its affection.  Only such a pervasive Love is capable of showing another that there is no reason to FEAR that in my eyes, in my heart, in my life, the love will never end and that person will always find me loving them, today, tomorrow, and eons along the journey forward…ever faithful to keep the desire and passion for the other a constant reality of the universe.  I love this way, because it is the one thing I always wanted from another soul, another spirit, just one other person to offer up such fire for me, and never found; thus I chose to love another in the way I longed to be loved myself, and continue to seek to prove that this love is the love that defines the meaning and purpose of an everlasting life, and brings with it the hope of a day, a new way, a new experience to cherrish in the now…forever.

Even just writing this, reminds me of my passion and eases my fallen contenence so that I am uplifted to once again carry on.  Yes, I carry on alone but only in person, never in mind or spirit…and it is enough to believe in the possiblity of a someday the miracle of knowing that I might be the One important enough to be needed for the very purpose I now claim to an expert in….loving the one that gives meaning to my existence.

Peace and Love be with you,

Zion Marion Amoure

A love that lasts forever is the first and last of my universe.

New post in my live journal

Hi everyone…it’s a beautiful day where I am and I hope it is where you are too!  I just added a new post to my livejournal blog and thought I would invite you all to come by and have aread and make comment.  Hope to see you there.

http://journalofzion.livejournal.com/1564.html

Peace!

Reading at many levels applies to many paths for but One to walk

connection via the physical and the virtual realitiesIt is something I’ve grown accustomed to over the years, yet it is sometimes a toil and a chore to sift through the data that I intake for one subject (ie. social networking) while my mind separates, sifts, and collates the various bits into entirely different topics and understandings applicable to other areas of my life.  I find myself diligent in the study of a subject and have to keep 3 or 4 open notebooks so that I can jot down notes regarding things that have nothing to do with each other when viewed directly, yet the through indirect interpretations connection suddenly applies to my journey along spiritual enlightenment in the form of awakening to the Truth of reality, connection symbolizes the future of a relationship that I desire yet has not so far been allowed to progress into the dream I have a passion to give life too, connection also opens the thought process up to the beauty of knowing that a relationship that I once thought beyond hope for possibility is an actual real tangible reality that although fragile in its infancy and present limitations it is still able to grow and be expressed which it never has been allowed to before.  Connection gives meaning to the plans I am making for the network that I am only now beginning to lay the foundations that will support what it will become through the efforts I am rigorously applying myself to today.  Connection cuts deep as I am confronted with the truth that a friend that I thought was dear and close has proven to be someone who would use me for ridicule and jest, and never regarded me as the friend that was projected in the days of my naivety.  So connections also mean wounds, and a need for self-protection, which is ironically what lead me to start looking into learning internet security and the door to reading about social networks and privacy that gave rise to all these paths of thought, emotion, and growth.

This eclectic and even chaotic process of learning is the Way that I have developed for my ADD and slightly paranoid mind to give its best performances in connection inception is hidden from the eyeusing the often resented instability of thought process to become a colage of pathways for greater wisdom into the various avenues of usefulness and need in my life and the lives of those my life comes into contact.  It is good to feel that a handicap can be turned to a usefulness in the often dramatic and emotionally ramp it stampede I must call my life as I now understand it to be.  For all its lacking and distastefulness to what I would like to be, it is still something to be thankful for in that it seems that so many have suffered much more than the mere cross that I had to bear.  (Don’t read into that, unlike Christ, I don’t go to my cross willingly, they nailed me there kicking and screaming against my will!!!!)

I forgot to repost my LiveJournal entry from yesterday over here for WordPress, so here is the link to that post if you care to journey over and have a read.  http://journalofzion.livejournal.com/

It is a beautiful day, and I believe I will step outside and connect with the universe in a way that just can’t be done through the internet.

Have a wonderful  day, and evening.  Blessings upon you and Peace!!

Namaste

 

Love is more than a bridge, it is universe that surrounds us all

My Journal – A New Journal

I haven’t yet figured out how to import logs from my new journal, and keeping this site open is the only way to reach my followers, so I will bring the pages to you and you can decide if you want to become followers of my other blogs. I will be using my new domain as a hub but I explain this more in the first entry of my newest journal, and I start another tomorrow. Enjoy. 🙂  http://journalofzion.livejournal.com/808.html

I’m here to Write!
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I don’t usually make blog entries as short posts but I’m having trouble reaching my 1100 wordpress followers now that I’ve changed domains, and so I’ve tried to set up something so this will posted via my other acount, which for WordPress.com bloggers, will have to act as my primary account because i don’t have a work around with them, and I want to do more with my platform than what they allow with their framework for their service. So, if your this respond and let me know, I’ll write more tonight, but I need to know if this is going to work. Thanks for the help everyone.