A little quiet music, a small fire, but it’s a little dark, …open the shades as the snow dusts the air and covers the sins of the day (I swear anything can regain virginity when the past is erased from the view of others.) Continue reading
Being thankful has proven to be a growth process like everything else on the path to spiritual maturity. And like everything else I can only view it as a process once I’ve stood at a later stage of development and look back upon it. Continue reading
Ideo dilexit me amare.
Amo ergo sum.
One of the most beautiful and gracious gifts I’ve received as a result of my spiritual journey is the constant confirmation that “I am loved.” Continue reading
Sometimes my worst nights are followed by my greatest insights into myself and the Truths this Life presents to me. As I lay in the darkness, unable to sleep, but neither am I plagued with the mental attacks I wrote of yesterday, I am overwhelmed with the Truth that I am centered in Love and that Love is with me through the best of times and the worst of times, even when I lose sight of it. Continue reading
“Human relations based on mutual compassion and love are fundamentally important to human happiness.”
~ Dalai Lama
The more I grow in understanding of this Truth, the better life becomes for me on my best days. Being the type that struggles through ebbs and flows both biologically deficient in major neurotransmitters and emotionally pulled taught to extremes inside, relationships have always been difficult for me.
I’ve always had this need to present myself as in control, so no matter how bad my instabilities would get, I would isolate to hide what I didn’t want others to see, and present a facade of everything is cool, or I’m just an asshole don’t pay me any attention. Please forgive the vulgar vernacular here I thought it appropriate when I used it to describe myself for a couple years at the peak of my disabilities when I needed to keep people at a distance…at least, so I thought. I managed to keep secret my Schizophrenia and depression secret for almost 20 years, self-medicating to maintain jobs and raise a family as a single dad. My abilities to do that drained more and more from my strength as each year my symptoms worsened. I finally came to hate the fact I was even alive….
Then, as Life would have me continue on in a different fashion, I was involved an accident that broke my face in 6 places and put me in the hospital on Oahu for 3 weeks. During this time I was approved for medical insurance for the first time in years and with that came an opportunity to seek medical help for my disorders, if I just had the courage to ask for it. I did, and now 9 months later, though I still face some debilitating struggles, and still have a long road of recovery ahead of me, I am rebuilding relationships with family and friends and discovering the happiness those bring as they share my struggles and burdens with me along this road of life. All those years spent hiding my weakness, and had I just had the strength to be vulnerable I would have found the compassion and Love was around me all along.
Yet, though I have cause for regrets, I will use this remorse to build hope for a future I was blind too before the accident. A life with purpose; a life with Love; a life using this gift of mine; a life filled with family and friends.
He who cultivates the Tao is one with the Tao”
~Lao Tsu Continue reading
“One aspect of compasion is to respect others’ rights and to respect others’ views. That is the basis of reconciliation. The human spirit of reconciliation based on compassion is working deep down, whether the person really knows it or not.
Our basic human nature is gentleness; therefore, no matter how much we go through violence and other bad things, ultimately the proper solution is to return to human feeling and affection. So affection or compassion is not only a religious matter, but in our day-to-day life it is quite indispensable.
Respect, much of what I came to believe during my youth had to be unlearned for me to understand the Wisdom I have found to be essential in embracing different religions and cultures. I was raised on television bravado, such as John Wayne, where respect had to be earned or you didn’t get it. This is a TERRIBLE foreign relations policy Continue reading
When I first googled the word “blog” this last April I had never even read a blog, much less written one. I never had any interest in it, but a friend had suggested it might be a good idea for me and I knew I had a natural talent for writing ever since college. Back then, I preferred classes with a 10 page final instead of a test because I new I would get an “A” in that class, without much time investment. I have been writing a journal for over 20 years, so in a certain since, I’ve been preparing for this for a very long time, but I didn’t know I would come to enjoy it so much. Continue reading
so that the lion will become human.
Cursed is the man whom the lion shall eat,
and the lion will become human.” (v.7)
When I read this verse, and meditate upon it, I keep revolving around the term “Lion of Judah”, a reference for Jesus in the Christian tradition. I believe in prophecy, and I believe that because we all are indwelt by the Presence of the Creator then we all have access to knowledge beyond the 5 senses, learning to understand that knowledge and how to use the vision of that knowledge is not something I believe is widely known, nor even accepted.
I believe this verse was spoken in a prophetic since by Jesus in regards to what would become instituted as the Eucharist, or Communion as it is also referred too. “I am the Bread of Life.” (John 6:48) Continue reading
religion became preoccupied
with telling people what to know
more than how to know,
telling people what to see
more than how to see.”
Believe it or not, Richard Rohr is a Franciscan Priest in the Catholic tradition. I find it very refreshing to find not only believers in Christianity, but a member of the leadership and fraternal order to have rediscovered the contemplative awakening of a relationship with the Presence that indwells each of us and I also find in Fr. Rohr a kindred spirit, so to speak, as he speaks and writes very similar to the Truths that I write about both on this blog and in my journals. Continue reading
A common theme to my interior life and thus to much of my creations is Unconditional Love. It is devotion and passion without boundaries. It is something that at birth we are all capable of giving for it appears to be imprinted upon us through the process of creation itself. With the first kiss of breath, that very moment that Life sparks within the essence of a babe the ability to Love is Present, only through experience and degeneration are we brought low to exist with the walls of fear for possible injury and threat to our emotional and physical security. Continue reading
I perched upon a clifftop in the afternoon sun and watched as a mist sailed across the ocean and make a port of call. From my height I couldn’t tell if it touched the beach or simply ghosted above, yet it enveloped me in a veil of cumulus wonder. Continue reading
Lo do I know the pain of memories that haunt the night. The mares both day and night come to steal what peace I pretend to have as I relive the agony of that which was stolen, taken by force as the brutish and evil wreak havoc upon the weak and the innocent. Continue reading
I believe if someone desires to see dreams come true then half efforts are worthless, it’s got to be all or nothing. My dreams are huge, and yet it’s the intangible dreams that are the biggest for me, and as long as my needs are met then I am free to pursue those huge dreams.
I made a decision, to put my income on the field of my writing, because I desire to be a writer. Continue reading
Jesus said, “Do not lie and do not do what you hate, because all things are revealed in the sight of heaven. For nothing is hidden that will not be revealed, and nothings is covered that will remain covered.” (v.6)
I love that the first thing Jesus tells them is don’t offer to take on religious burdens that you hate doing, the very fact that you hate it means your every action and deed in those offerings to God is a lie, you aren’t fooling him nor are you endearing yourself to him. Continue reading