What I’m looking for…

There is reason why I have never married again!  It’s been, well, a long time…my wife left in 1999 (which devastated me)…left me to raise three children on my own, and they turned out fantastic!  I have had girlfriends.  I have made a lot of friends of the opposite sex, but I have kept myself from stepping back into

Sometimes what I see in a girl can't be captured in a photo...

Sometimes what I see in a girl can’t be captured in a photo…

another marriage because I won’t make the same mistakes again.  I’m looking for a foundation on which to build, and for someone who inspires me to become more than who I am…many women intrigue me, even more excite me…it’s the rare find that actually is strong enough to be what I need, and still weak enough to need me. Continue reading

A Season of Celibacy

A little over a year ago, I made a vow to be celibate, and I have been faithful to that decision.  I’m not convicted in a religious aspect; I honestly don’t believe sex is a sin, in any form between willing partners, for my readers who lean to conservative sides of their particular brand of worship, I respect your views, but I don’t share them.  I’ve decided to continue the practice again through 2014. Continue reading

A day of Rest

happy sabbathI love a day off…so much more than off day.  It’s time for renewing oneself to fight the good fight the rest of the week.  How do you renew?  What is that allows you to have a time well spent and upon completion feel rejuvenated and alive again?

There are several key things for me and reaching into each of them is something that I not only desire in my respite but I require it, relish it…cherish it!  Body, Mind & Soul…I need to replenish each of these to be whole, ready to give again as the demands of my life, my work, the world ..etc come to call upon me.

Today, is a good example of great day (for me).  It begins last night.  Whenever I have a day off…twice per week…I like to be a little social and visit the American Legion to which I am a member and have a couple rounds of drinks with friends and laughter.  [I could and probably will someday write and entire piece on the necessity of laughter for me as person.  Making people laugh is crucial to my whole system of engagement and how I interact with others….that, and a well lubricated cerebellum from the common libations served at the afore mentioned establishment, he says knowing my readers understand.] hangoverfree-beer This always leads into a no alarm morning.  I awake when I’m ready to awake.  The chill of winter has crept in the open window and yet rendered inert in it’s attempt to own the room by the heavy down comforters I find so much more appealing knowing the warmth within is my haven and hearth and I lay there often for over an hour not wanting to relinquish my comfort to the new dawn of my day of rest.  I love that kind of morning!

After some breakfast I drive to my gym, my place of renewal for my body.  I have a fantastic facility at Lifetime Fitness, and I pay a little more for it than your average club, but it’s worth every penny…of course, I would choose the club membership over cable television if money were tight and I have done just that for a lesser club, and this one is top notch!  I do a 10 mile run on the elliptical, a few laps the pool, I sit in the hot tub for about 20 minutes and then the steam room, followed by a long shower.  It is a brilliant way to spend 3 hours of my day and I feel great!  The endorphin’s from my workout are flowing heavy creating an high of confidence, satisfaction, and a natural desire to do.  My muscles though spent, are relaxed and at ease after the spa.  Occasionally this is a good time for a full body massage, another offering of this facility that I like to frequent when I can…unfortunately, not today.

ice formingI drive home along the lakes of Minnetonka and the beginnings of ice along the shorelines appear hear and there.  Though this will be my first winter in Minnesota I must admit I am enjoying the changes of the seasons and the views that such evolution is bringing to the stage.

At home, a small snack to satisfy a body craving for sustenance after an intense 90 minute run helps settle me down for emotional appeal to renew my sentiments toward the Heart, toward Love, and Life itself.  I watch an old favorite Under the Tuscan Sun with Diane Lane.  It’s a good drama, which deals with the need to be in love even when we can’t find it ourselves, and the sometimes not so obvious truth that just because romance is absent doesn’t mean love is missing…friends and family are a funnel the romantic heart often overlook when alone.

Speaking of family, my mom, sent me a gift, a book by Desmond Tutu, “God is Not a Christian”, and I’m eager to read it.  Receiving this in the mail today brought back fond memories of meeting this man at a lecture series many years ago while attending college.  And so I will spend part of this evening intriguing my mind with the thoughts of man who desperately appeals to people to bring down religious barriers and seeks justice for the oppressed.  As President Barack Obama says of him, “He is an outspoken voice for freedom and justice in countries across the globe.”

My day of rest includes exercising my body, my mind, and my heart.  This prepares me for another day in the world, another week of work, and sustains the man I desire to be:  one that lives life, not endures it.

namaste

I determine my worth!

brokenheartIt amazes to me that people everywhere, in my life where I live, and in the communities I dwell within the internet; they all go through relationship after relationship, and it’s always ending with a broken heart!  Believe me, I know that pain, I know every ache, tear, and negative self talk that comes with such volatile break ups, and I sympathize, I do.  It isn’t their pain that I am mystified about, it is the fact that they never learn to be more cautious with their heart.  Let me be clear, when I say cautious I do not mean that they simply withhold themselves from others in a walled little world to themselves.  I am stating that they need to recognize the vulnerability revealed through the suffering they feel is a testament to depth of emotion and their ability to become an actual piece of the life to which they have given that heart away.   That heart is the most precious gift that they possess.  Continue reading