The Sacred

long-journeyA day off, and I need a change of scenery!  I need more than that…I need to experience something of significance.  I need to step out of my day to day, beyond the casual escape of the routine and into the profound; I need to step into something Sacred. Continue reading

The Language of God

darkness and silenceThere are places and experiences that speak to the soul, that develop our interior and allow us to grow, to learn….to become.  Inevitably I find that silence always surrounds these.  Those who spend their lives filling the void with noise…something to distract them from the reality that they are alone, will always struggle to develop and mature as humans, as man and woman, and whatever awaits us beyond the mortal toil we call life.

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Along the Way…

truth (1)I had a rough patch on my desire for answers and Truth the last year or so, crisis of faith so to speak.  I’m not one to mince words about my relationship with “God”; although saturated with Christian ideas, it is hardly your average Christian religious devotion anymore, and if what I suspect I will find along my path in the years to come proves true then the balance I seek will also find my ideas saturated with Buddhist teachings as I incorporate my eclectic studies and various interests into a coherent understanding of what brings me closest to my desire for Truth, Understanding, and most of all, a level of peace between me and the world in which I find myself. Continue reading

Is the friend we need found in Jesus? Or is Jesus the friend we should be and find in each other?

Follow my example, worship me when that is completed.I spent the evening with friends and it seems they were each needing some time with a friend that lets them share anything and everything that has built up and has been festering beneath the surface of their individual realities for sometime.  It’s in moments like this that the art of keeping the dialogue to a more gentle openness, a passive activity in silence because most of the time they don’t need advice; they need a friend willing to become the role of support that is found in an understanding and receptive confidant.  Tonight I was useful in the lives of others by quietly offering a silent sanctuary for their concerns, feelings, thoughts, and need for such a repository to be secured with a trust that keeps these confidences bound to the friend they leaned upon. Continue reading

Finding my need for atonement again

“A broken and contrite heart, O Lord, you will not despise.”  Psalm 51:17

It is difficult sometimes to have a mental deficit that keeps me on guard during schizophrenic episodes, and remember who I am underneath it all.  I get lost in the stories that fill my mind and they often are very anti-spiritual, definitely anti-Christ in persuasion, and my faith is buried in an effort to protect the Heart that is so precious to me, one that developed in a Love that taught me to accept myself as I am, and give all of myself in service to Love for another.  Continue reading

Intimate kiss of silence…

The darkness of the early morn covers me like a shroud.  The prayer of my slow rhythmic breath is felt upon the skin of my folded hands, fingers interlaced and humbly I’m knelt in submission to the peace I so rarely know in the midst of my mental battles, yet drawn back during the moments of sanity I am graced with now.  In this act my life is resurected once more. Continue reading

Prayer…

“Religion has lost sight of Jesus’ message…We aren’t focused on the great mystery.  Rather religion has tended to create people who think they have God in their pockets, people with quick, easy glib answers.  That is why so much of the West is understandably abandoning religion. People know the great mystery cannot be that simple and facile.  If the great mystery is indeed the Great Mystery, it will lead us into paradox, into darkness, and into journeys that never cease.  That is what prayer is about.”  

~ Fr. Richard Rohr  (a Jesuit Priest)

One of the wonderful things about prayer is that it isn’t predictable.  It is delving into the the ultimate unknown, but never is it unknowable.  Continue reading

True Prayer

As I thought about what to type I adjourned from my place before the computer to a separate retreat for prayer.  In what follows I wanted to try and capture what takes place for me during these times, which in itself is an instructional guide for me.

There are many forms of Prayer from countless religious traditions, and I have experienced, at least in part, many of these. Continue reading

Learning while living

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we all got a practice run at living before we lived the life that counts?  I mean to have an opportunity to live through the mistakes, retain the knowledge and then do it right. Continue reading

Happiness

“Human relations based on mutual compassion and love are fundamentally important to human happiness.”

               ~ Dalai Lama

 

The more I grow in understanding of this Truth, the better life becomes for me on my best days.  Being the type that struggles through ebbs and flows both biologically deficient in major neurotransmitters and emotionally pulled taught to extremes inside, relationships have always been difficult for me.

I’ve always had this need to present myself as in control, so no matter how bad my instabilities would get, I would isolate to hide what I didn’t want others to see, and present a facade of everything is cool, or I’m just an asshole don’t pay me any attention.  Please forgive the vulgar vernacular here I thought it appropriate when I used it to describe myself for a couple years at the peak of my disabilities when I needed to keep people at a distance…at least, so I thought.  I managed to keep secret my Schizophrenia and depression secret for almost 20 years, self-medicating to maintain jobs and raise a family as a single dad.  My abilities to do that drained more and more from my strength as each year my symptoms worsened.  I finally came to hate the fact I was even alive….

Then, as Life would have me continue on in a different fashion, I was involved an accident that broke my face in 6 places and put me in the hospital on Oahu for 3 weeks.  During this time I was approved for medical insurance for the first time in years and with that came an opportunity to seek medical help for my disorders, if I just had the courage to ask for it.  I did, and now 9 months later, though I still face some debilitating struggles, and still have a long road of recovery ahead of me, I am rebuilding relationships with family and friends and discovering the happiness those bring as they share my struggles and burdens with me along this road of life.  All those years spent hiding my weakness, and had I just had the strength to be vulnerable I would have found the compassion and Love was around me all along.

Yet, though I have cause for regrets, I will use this remorse to build hope for a future I was blind too before the accident.  A life with purpose; a life with Love; a life using this gift of mine; a life filled with family and friends.

One with the Way

“Only simple and quiet words will ripen of themselves…

He who cultivates the Tao is one with the Tao”

              ~Lao Tsu Continue reading

An Aspect of Compassion

“One aspect of compasion is to respect others’ rights and to respect others’ views.  That is the basis of reconciliation.  The human spirit of reconciliation based on compassion is working deep down, whether the person really knows it or not.  

Our basic human nature is gentleness; therefore, no matter how much we go through violence and other bad things, ultimately the proper solution is to return to human feeling and affection.  So affection or compassion is not only a religious matter, but in our day-to-day life it is quite indispensable.

                     ~Dahli Lama

Respect, much of what I came to believe during my youth had to be unlearned for me to understand the Wisdom I have found to be essential in embracing different religions and cultures.  I was raised on television bravado, such as John Wayne, where respect had to be earned or you didn’t get it.  This is a TERRIBLE foreign relations policy Continue reading

The Joy of Blogging

When I first googled the word “blog” this last April I had never even read a blog, much less written one.  I never had any interest in it, but a friend had suggested it might be a good idea for me and I knew I had a natural talent for writing ever since college.  Back then, I preferred classes with a 10 page final instead of a test because I new I would get an “A” in that class, without much time investment.  I have been writing a  journal for over 20 years, so in a certain since, I’ve been preparing for this for a very long time, but I didn’t know I would come to enjoy it so much. Continue reading

Gospel of Thomas (v.7)

“Blessed is the lion that the man shall eat,

so that the lion will become human.

Cursed is the man whom the lion shall eat,

and the lion will become human.”  (v.7)

When I read this verse, and meditate upon it, I keep revolving around the term “Lion of Judah”, a reference for Jesus in the Christian tradition.  I believe in prophecy, and I believe that because we all are indwelt by the Presence of the Creator then we all have access to knowledge beyond the 5 senses, learning to understand that knowledge and how to use the vision of that knowledge is not something I believe is widely known, nor even accepted.

I believe this verse was spoken in a prophetic since by Jesus in regards to what would become instituted as the Eucharist, or Communion as it is also referred too.  “I am the Bread of Life.” (John 6:48) Continue reading

Religion Renewal…

“In the West,

religion became preoccupied

with telling people what to know

more than how to know,

telling people what to see

more than how to see.”

                             ~Richard Rohr

Believe it or not, Richard Rohr is a Franciscan Priest in the Catholic tradition.  I find it very refreshing to find not only believers in Christianity, but a member of the leadership and fraternal order to have rediscovered the contemplative awakening of a relationship with the Presence that indwells each of us and I also find in Fr. Rohr a kindred spirit, so to speak, as he speaks and writes very similar to the Truths that I write about both on this blog and in my journals. Continue reading