A day off, and I need a change of scenery! I need more than that…I need to experience something of significance. I need to step out of my day to day, beyond the casual escape of the routine and into the profound; I need to step into something Sacred. Continue reading
There are places and experiences that speak to the soul, that develop our interior and allow us to grow, to learn….to become. Inevitably I find that silence always surrounds these. Those who spend their lives filling the void with noise…something to distract them from the reality that they are alone, will always struggle to develop and mature as humans, as man and woman, and whatever awaits us beyond the mortal toil we call life.
The darkness of the early morn covers me like a shroud. The prayer of my slow rhythmic breath is felt upon the skin of my folded hands, fingers interlaced and humbly I’m knelt in submission to the peace I so rarely know in the midst of my mental battles, yet drawn back during the moments of sanity I am graced with now. In this act my life is resurected once more. Continue reading
This heaven will pass away and that which is above it will pass away. The dead are not alive and the living will not die. In the days when you ate what is dead, you made it alive. When you come into the light, what will you do? On the day when you were one, you became two. But when you have become two, what will you do?
~Gospel of Thomas (v.11)
This is a very cryptic line that Jesus spoke to his disciples concerning the purpose and meaning of life, as they knew it, as he knew it, and as God knows it. There are two levels of heaven that Jesus refers to here, or rather two perceptions of heaven both will pass away. The first, this heaven, that which we create through Love on Earth, and more personally, Jesus was referring to Himself, will pass away; he died on the Cross and our mortality is limited. The heaven above refers to that which took place prior to Creation, before their was opportunity to become enlightened and as we Christians refer to it, redeemed. Continue reading
“Religion has lost sight of Jesus’ message…We aren’t focused on the great mystery. Rather religion has tended to create people who think they have God in their pockets, people with quick, easy glib answers. That is why so much of the West is understandably abandoning religion. People know the great mystery cannot be that simple and facile. If the great mystery is indeed the Great Mystery, it will lead us into paradox, into darkness, and into journeys that never cease. That is what prayer is about.”
~ Fr. Richard Rohr (a Jesuit Priest)
One of the wonderful things about prayer is that it isn’t predictable. It is delving into the the ultimate unknown, but never is it unknowable. Continue reading
It takes some fortitude to do what is best, what in our soul is right, and yet be the accused in the eyes of many. Continue reading
Ideo dilexit me amare.
Amo ergo sum.
One of the most beautiful and gracious gifts I’ve received as a result of my spiritual journey is the constant confirmation that “I am loved.” Continue reading
Humankind is like a wise fesherman who cast his net into the sea. He drew it out of the sea full of small fish. The wise fisherman found among them a large, good fish. He threw all the small fish back into the sea and chose the large fish without hesitation. Whoever has ears to hear, let him hear. Continue reading
In the early morn, the stillness of darkness is balanced by the passive reflection of the bright moon. There are no clouds and though my part of the world is covered in shadow, the ambient glow makes the aura of the hour much more compelling to be awake. Continue reading
In Tibetan, the word for blessing means “transformation through majesty or power.” In short, the meaning of blessing is to bring about, as a result of the experience, a transformation in one’s mind for the better.
This has been the Truth I have found on my Spiritual Journey through life. The “renewing of my mind” is not something that is just the result of what I read, but the experience of a power greater than myself drawing from God, my Higher Power, Creation, the Universe, my inner self, whatever is most comfortable to term it for you, the majesty of wonder and awe that inspires and remolds my understanding into something I have never known before. Continue reading
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we all got a practice run at living before we lived the life that counts? I mean to have an opportunity to live through the mistakes, retain the knowledge and then do it right. Continue reading
He who knows himself has insight.
He who conquers men has force;
He who conquers himself is truly strong.
It is relatively easy to adopt ways of understanding people and the ways of the world, to learn to predict what others tend to do in certain circumstances. Yet cleverness and insight are not equal. Continue reading
Sometimes my worst nights are followed by my greatest insights into myself and the Truths this Life presents to me. As I lay in the darkness, unable to sleep, but neither am I plagued with the mental attacks I wrote of yesterday, I am overwhelmed with the Truth that I am centered in Love and that Love is with me through the best of times and the worst of times, even when I lose sight of it. Continue reading
“Human relations based on mutual compassion and love are fundamentally important to human happiness.”
~ Dalai Lama
The more I grow in understanding of this Truth, the better life becomes for me on my best days. Being the type that struggles through ebbs and flows both biologically deficient in major neurotransmitters and emotionally pulled taught to extremes inside, relationships have always been difficult for me.
I’ve always had this need to present myself as in control, so no matter how bad my instabilities would get, I would isolate to hide what I didn’t want others to see, and present a facade of everything is cool, or I’m just an asshole don’t pay me any attention. Please forgive the vulgar vernacular here I thought it appropriate when I used it to describe myself for a couple years at the peak of my disabilities when I needed to keep people at a distance…at least, so I thought. I managed to keep secret my Schizophrenia and depression secret for almost 20 years, self-medicating to maintain jobs and raise a family as a single dad. My abilities to do that drained more and more from my strength as each year my symptoms worsened. I finally came to hate the fact I was even alive….
Then, as Life would have me continue on in a different fashion, I was involved an accident that broke my face in 6 places and put me in the hospital on Oahu for 3 weeks. During this time I was approved for medical insurance for the first time in years and with that came an opportunity to seek medical help for my disorders, if I just had the courage to ask for it. I did, and now 9 months later, though I still face some debilitating struggles, and still have a long road of recovery ahead of me, I am rebuilding relationships with family and friends and discovering the happiness those bring as they share my struggles and burdens with me along this road of life. All those years spent hiding my weakness, and had I just had the strength to be vulnerable I would have found the compassion and Love was around me all along.
Yet, though I have cause for regrets, I will use this remorse to build hope for a future I was blind too before the accident. A life with purpose; a life with Love; a life using this gift of mine; a life filled with family and friends.
The journey into the self is the greatest journey of discovery that I have ever traversed. It has no end as long as I’m alive, I keep evolving, I keep discovering deeper levels to who I am and Truths that define me not only as a person, but as One with humanity and the rest of the Universe. Continue reading