I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life.

“I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life.  No one comes to the Father except through me.”  John 14:6cross2

“The student is not above the teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like their teacher.”  Luke 6:40

“If you’re not willing to be Jesus, don’t preach Jesus.”  ~ proverb of Zion

I must admit, I followed what I was taught blindly a very long time before I stopped looking to others to teach me what they knew about Jesus and started listening to His teachings for myself.  I stopped buying bibles with commentary, and started writing in the margins as I pondered the Truths that seemed to resonate in the message that I found Jesus to be teaching.  It is a painful memory for me to acknowledge that through some of the toughest struggles in my life, when I sought fellow Christians for answers they quote things to me like:  “God never gives us more than we can handle.”  and “Just keep your eyes on Jesus, and He will lead you through it.”   Continue reading

Jewels in my Crown

honours471eAs with everything in my life, I alter the plans to work best for me in accomplishing the goals to be achieved from the pattern most of the rest of the world follows.  My idiosyncrasies prohibit me from achieving the desired outcome if I try to do things the way others do them; I spent a lot of years learning this about myself…if I do it another’s way, I always fail, without exception…I know how to adapt things for me, and when came to raising three children, I did the same thing.  I made decisions that would achieve the goals I set for them.  When I looked into the lives others who either were raising children, or had raised children I saw two common denominators…those successes and/or the failures in the lives of the children could always be traced back to the decisions of the parents, and those successes parents always take credit for, and the failures they always blame the children.

My children were unfortunate enough to wind up in a dysfunctional family, with parents who continually made bad choices and thought life was one big fucking party.  If I made choices concerning them the way I made choices for myself, they would have grown up making the same type of choices that I made, and from the beginning I didn’t want that for them, and so I sought the tools they would need to have so that I could make sure that by the time they were stepping into adulthood they would be prepared to face those decisions in a way I never considered before;  and not be jaded and scarred with a lifetime of learning life’s lessons the hard way. Continue reading

What I’m looking for…

There is reason why I have never married again!  It’s been, well, a long time…my wife left in 1999 (which devastated me)…left me to raise three children on my own, and they turned out fantastic!  I have had girlfriends.  I have made a lot of friends of the opposite sex, but I have kept myself from stepping back into

Sometimes what I see in a girl can't be captured in a photo...

Sometimes what I see in a girl can’t be captured in a photo…

another marriage because I won’t make the same mistakes again.  I’m looking for a foundation on which to build, and for someone who inspires me to become more than who I am…many women intrigue me, even more excite me…it’s the rare find that actually is strong enough to be what I need, and still weak enough to need me. Continue reading

A day of Rest

happy sabbathI love a day off…so much more than off day.  It’s time for renewing oneself to fight the good fight the rest of the week.  How do you renew?  What is that allows you to have a time well spent and upon completion feel rejuvenated and alive again?

There are several key things for me and reaching into each of them is something that I not only desire in my respite but I require it, relish it…cherish it!  Body, Mind & Soul…I need to replenish each of these to be whole, ready to give again as the demands of my life, my work, the world ..etc come to call upon me.

Today, is a good example of great day (for me).  It begins last night.  Whenever I have a day off…twice per week…I like to be a little social and visit the American Legion to which I am a member and have a couple rounds of drinks with friends and laughter.  [I could and probably will someday write and entire piece on the necessity of laughter for me as person.  Making people laugh is crucial to my whole system of engagement and how I interact with others….that, and a well lubricated cerebellum from the common libations served at the afore mentioned establishment, he says knowing my readers understand.] hangoverfree-beer This always leads into a no alarm morning.  I awake when I’m ready to awake.  The chill of winter has crept in the open window and yet rendered inert in it’s attempt to own the room by the heavy down comforters I find so much more appealing knowing the warmth within is my haven and hearth and I lay there often for over an hour not wanting to relinquish my comfort to the new dawn of my day of rest.  I love that kind of morning!

After some breakfast I drive to my gym, my place of renewal for my body.  I have a fantastic facility at Lifetime Fitness, and I pay a little more for it than your average club, but it’s worth every penny…of course, I would choose the club membership over cable television if money were tight and I have done just that for a lesser club, and this one is top notch!  I do a 10 mile run on the elliptical, a few laps the pool, I sit in the hot tub for about 20 minutes and then the steam room, followed by a long shower.  It is a brilliant way to spend 3 hours of my day and I feel great!  The endorphin’s from my workout are flowing heavy creating an high of confidence, satisfaction, and a natural desire to do.  My muscles though spent, are relaxed and at ease after the spa.  Occasionally this is a good time for a full body massage, another offering of this facility that I like to frequent when I can…unfortunately, not today.

ice formingI drive home along the lakes of Minnetonka and the beginnings of ice along the shorelines appear hear and there.  Though this will be my first winter in Minnesota I must admit I am enjoying the changes of the seasons and the views that such evolution is bringing to the stage.

At home, a small snack to satisfy a body craving for sustenance after an intense 90 minute run helps settle me down for emotional appeal to renew my sentiments toward the Heart, toward Love, and Life itself.  I watch an old favorite Under the Tuscan Sun with Diane Lane.  It’s a good drama, which deals with the need to be in love even when we can’t find it ourselves, and the sometimes not so obvious truth that just because romance is absent doesn’t mean love is missing…friends and family are a funnel the romantic heart often overlook when alone.

Speaking of family, my mom, sent me a gift, a book by Desmond Tutu, “God is Not a Christian”, and I’m eager to read it.  Receiving this in the mail today brought back fond memories of meeting this man at a lecture series many years ago while attending college.  And so I will spend part of this evening intriguing my mind with the thoughts of man who desperately appeals to people to bring down religious barriers and seeks justice for the oppressed.  As President Barack Obama says of him, “He is an outspoken voice for freedom and justice in countries across the globe.”

My day of rest includes exercising my body, my mind, and my heart.  This prepares me for another day in the world, another week of work, and sustains the man I desire to be:  one that lives life, not endures it.

namaste

The Sage still lives, but jaded…

To dye and live is to rise the rose within.It has been a long journey of spiritual seeking, truth hunting, fact missing, book buying, beer drinking, enigma entangled, proselytized confirmation to bring me to the land that is nowhere even remotely close to the evangelical convert of my youth, (silent thanksgiving) and in all fairness, I have found my spiritual answers for deities, demigods, and folklore galore!  I have my direction, my reason to live, and building purpose is slow going but not without hope of success, and still…I’m ready to step it up a level beyond what I can find to satisfy….because the Truth and answers I found were to questions I NEVER WANTED TO ASK!  And now I have all this knowledge of things left simpler had I just turned the page, sang the psalm, and put the quarter in the plate as it passed by, never the wiser, just another regular guy for my Sunday morning meet & greet with the other favorites destined to watch in glee as we see those poor people suffer for their stupidity in following false Gods and believing their traditions after only several thousand years of no other options and now look at ’em; tricked out and burning up the coal house, for Hell’s kitchen to teach them sinner’s the right way, or punish them for the wrong way, or fuck….hell, it’s probably incorporated and heaven and hell are subsidiaries of a larger conglomerate that has the thing fronted up and loaded to lose either way…but who am I to preach….wwjd??  Maybe we should stop seeking a way out of trouble and just say can you just help us make this fucking work right and live a little longer, because sometimes “this shit just sucks!”  [I apologize for the language…I will show some restraint now.]

Continue reading

Learning….everyday, I’m always learning!

yin yang (1)Sorry everyone, I haven’t written in a while.  I’m in the process of discovering more about my place in this world and the relationship I have within the structures of reality that I once thought were firm and now know to be less than ideal for foundations and plans for the future.

I live in an existence that keeps me stretched between the spiritual and the physical, the emotional and the stoic, the practical and the fantasy, and the evident and the enigma.  Every part of my existence is in flux most of the time, because of the choices I have made in seeking truth and never being willing to accept less than the culmination of my purpose in the venture I found myself engaged to do.  I must be able to touch the extremes while still fully capable of finding my way back to a balance that allows me the vantage given to the most malleable substances known to exist.  I must appear to conform enough to allow me to exist within a system while never becoming a part of the system itself.  In doing that I must also remain true to the one rule I keep so as to have the one place in my life that does not ever change, nor vary from its course and remains my home port for all my endeavors.

I’m not surprised to find that even though things aren’t what they seem in the view presented for me to assimilate as the real world, I still find that the discovery of the real behind the mask is just as intriguing and alarming as not having known to look for it the first place.  I state this because often it seems the world would seek to surprise me and it is almost always faltered in the attempt as I hate surprises and this coupled with an ardent sense of paranoia I am always watching for the next surprise to unravel before me so as to show me the secrets of the moment before they are displayed for the view of the universe as a whole.

I am currently learning computers.  I have never studied html, tcp/ip, networking, dns hosting, and Internet structure before a month ago and this all came about because of others hacking my accounts with blue host, my email accounts with google and Microsoft, and then hijacking my various blog sites so that I couldn’t even enter them to blog.  I soon discovered that the only way to combat such a thing far beyond my own abilities, is to get to know the terrain, the venue, and the medium in which all this is taking place so I am hard at work learning what I can each and every day.

I hope to be able to learn this internet and computer tech so as to make use of it in the future, besides just expending my interest and hobby into the blogosphere.  My pursuit in these areas will be worthwhile and I hope to be skilled in these areas within a couple of years as I push forth in this effort to learn this field that I never fully appreciated before now.

I hope you all will keep following this blog and as I get my sites and other blogs situated and tethered to my website, I hope you will follow those as well.  I still keep the passion for the unrequited love that has allowed me to be a romantic and seeker of more intimate understandings, for it is the pivot and port to which I refered to earlier, and that is a part of me that will remain true both now and forever.

Please forgive the rather haphazard thought process in this, but I’m just at the library and only have a few moments to make a post before I head out.  I had to rebuild both my computers due to viruses, one is off to the shop and the other is awaiting new parts.  🙂

Peace to all of you, and Namaste!!!

 

namaste

Feeling Positive

href=”https://iamzion.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/i-am-healthy-and-filled-with-energy_large.jpg”>robyn-nola-logo-pinkIn the overall compilation of my days during the last few years I must admit that a negative tone that accompanies my depression resonates strongest and clearest as the predominant first seat to the symphony of my life.  Yet, today, I choose to share the pleasure of finding myself delighted with the interaction that transpired between this man and the world at large. Continue reading

Is the friend we need found in Jesus? Or is Jesus the friend we should be and find in each other?

Follow my example, worship me when that is completed.I spent the evening with friends and it seems they were each needing some time with a friend that lets them share anything and everything that has built up and has been festering beneath the surface of their individual realities for sometime.  It’s in moments like this that the art of keeping the dialogue to a more gentle openness, a passive activity in silence because most of the time they don’t need advice; they need a friend willing to become the role of support that is found in an understanding and receptive confidant.  Tonight I was useful in the lives of others by quietly offering a silent sanctuary for their concerns, feelings, thoughts, and need for such a repository to be secured with a trust that keeps these confidences bound to the friend they leaned upon. Continue reading

Intimate kiss of silence…

The darkness of the early morn covers me like a shroud.  The prayer of my slow rhythmic breath is felt upon the skin of my folded hands, fingers interlaced and humbly I’m knelt in submission to the peace I so rarely know in the midst of my mental battles, yet drawn back during the moments of sanity I am graced with now.  In this act my life is resurected once more. Continue reading

The Gospel of Thomas (v. 11)

This heaven will pass away and that which is above it will pass away.  The dead are not alive and the living will not die.  In the days when you ate what is dead, you made it alive.  When you come into the light, what will you do?  On the day when you were one, you became two.  But when you have become two, what will you do?

     ~Gospel of Thomas (v.11)

This is a very cryptic line that Jesus spoke to his disciples concerning the purpose and meaning of life, as they knew it, as he knew it, and as God knows it.  There are two levels of heaven that Jesus refers to here, or rather two perceptions of heaven both will pass away.  The first, this heaven, that which we create through Love on Earth, and more personally, Jesus was referring to Himself, will pass away; he died on the Cross and our mortality is limited.  The heaven above refers to that which took place prior to Creation, before their was opportunity to become enlightened and as we Christians refer to it, redeemed.  Continue reading

Intimacy

There is a blessing that comes with those who endure the path of sorrow and tears.  Those that bottle it up and won’t allow it to flow deny themselves this, unaware that it is in the depth of the soul when the heart longs for peace and is desperate for a gentle touch, a moments caress, the embrace of Love if only for a brief respite. Continue reading