Dr. Zion :-) (deciding???)

Sometimes what I see in a girl can't be captured in a photo...

Sometimes what I see in a girl can’t be captured in a photo…

In 1999, I was on the phone with  Princeton University; I was seriously considering pursing my religious studies in Theology through them, and I had the grades to get in…that year saw the end of a marriage, me with three children under 8 on my own, and some serious depression!  I have the degree…I’ve written the thesis…I’m no where near who I was then.   Continue reading

Choices! ugh…

stock-photo-vector-illustrations-of-busy-concepts-running-out-of-time-106546625Too much, to put everything into perspective!  A lot of changes going on in my life, nothing new for me that is true, but I usually try to find something stable and then let everything else gravitate around that.  In so doing, I keep a place of calm for me to focus on while the rest is all, well… FUCKED! Right now, everything is in motion, nothing is settling down…I’m making choices based on the long term, and the universe is keeping me in chaos in the moment!! Continue reading

A Big Plea for Christmas, a small task to fulfill…please help!

There is this little girl, she is 12, and in the hospital this holiday.  Her mom drives a four hour commute to be with her each day, while her husband stays home with their other two boys.  Her parents desire to see her receive a lot attention in the form of Christmas cards so she can be the center of so much attention from people all over and know that she is being thought of this Christmas.  For such a small individual task, the outpouring of many would mean a lot to a little girl that is away from home, denied the experience that every child that celebrates this season is exhilarated to be the center of a euphoric and chaotic morning of attention, presents, torn paper, and hugs and kisses!

I’m asking on their behalf that if you would please send her a card this week.  I was given permission to publish this name address for you to make this Christmas wish a reality.  Thank you!

Addres to:

Michala Wing

130 E. Ronning Ave Appleton, MN 56208

A Christmas Card is such a small sacrifice, but would brighten Michala's Christmas so much.

A Christmas Card is such a small sacrifice, but would brighten Michala’s Christmas so much.

Carnival!!!!!!

octopus rideSome things that I use to love when I was a kid I stopped doing as an adult.  I loved “Hide & Go Seek”; I don’t play that anymore.  I loved playing with my matchbox cars; I don’t do that anymore.  I loved it when the carnival came to town, and until last night, I hadn’t been on a carnival ride since I was a child, and I loved it like I child loves such things!  It was a blast! Continue reading

A new beginning…

The only way to see the ending is to stand at the beginning.

The only way to see the ending is to stand at the beginning.

For the last two days I’ve been diligently pushing myself to learn about social networks, the intricacies of website management, and the frustrations of being completely foreign to the code and necessary knowledge to not find myself spending hours to try to perform a task, only to suffer repeated failure for the effort.  I found a way to satisfy my design desires for my by blog, while the added features that I will eventually add are on my to do list; continual education into a vital market for me as a writer.

As an introvert I find this adventure I’m on a contradiction. I easily find myself in temporary seclusion, pouring over books, contemplating matters of the mind and the spiritual life that has enticed me much as writing does.  Over the last year I’ve allowed myself to share a great deal through my endeavors at maintaining a public blog for the first time.  It is a natural fit to be alone and typing and then at the same time effectively reaching over a 1000 people with the silent voice of my words; the internet has broadened my circle of fellowship and it appears will be growing exponentially as the year progresses and I build this network of fellow bloggers, writers, seekers tweeters, teachers, and more. Continue reading

Community

Community….not an easy thing for someone such as me to build.  Due to my schizophrenia, much of my life experience is spent within the confinds of my own mind.  It didn’t use to be that way, I have done many things, scuba diving, sky diving, kayaking with whales, hiking the volcanoes of hawaii, traveling the coasts of the pacific northwest, and multiple near death experiences that have all shaped my way of looking at life, but as my disease has progressed and I have been caught up in my own isolation the ability to form new bonds among social avenues has become difficult.

Im a very spiritual person as my blog would suggest though have tended to be far to liberal in my approach to be included in any one stream of thought. Although I would consider myself Christian, I might be hard pressed to get an evangelical to accept that statement, but I’m still considered Catholic by the Church’s standard.

I’ve been attending various churches trying to find a sense of some place that I can once again find somewhere to grow some roots so that I don’t feel so displaced among the area I live.  I need some since of community and I just don’t have it, so I’m seeking to identify a little more with those that I have previously avoided because of differences in ideology.  I don’t so much have a problem with their ideology, unless it is so intolerent that it can’t accept anyone else’s, but I have expected that my own would meet with some discomfort and problems so I haven’t built these bridges in a very long time, and now I’m a little out of my depth, because I don’t know how to be myself in a public situation, so I’m always uneasy.

I like this format a lot better, but it only deepens my comfort in isolation  as I build relations with fellow bloggers that I never see or really enter into any type of dialogue that would ultimately foster some sort of real relationship beyond that of casual acquaintance, and I now see this as necessary whereas before I never did.

I still read my various religious works.  I like to know what others believe, but I’m focusing more on Christianity now in my reading as I try to find some commonalities to build upon in the effort to find somewhere to fit in as I struggle alone through this path we all refer to as life.

What are some things that you all have found to help you build a sense of unity with the people you interact with where you live or worship.  I find religion itself doesn’t necessarily build that community, it requires more interaction than just attending the same building for a common purpose once per week.  How does one build relationships when it is difficult to relate to others?  How does one foster new friendships in new situations?  I could really use some feedback on this,thanks.