A quote from my personal “hand-written” journals:
“Charity and Freedom, although both important, can never co-exist. Freedom demands we observe personal rights, where Charity fails to acknowledge such rights ever exist.”
I remember writing this several years ago, knowing I believed but not yet understanding the full meaning of what I wrote. Freedom, comes with the self-aware insisting that they know their potential, their fundamental needs as a person, and showing the indignation that such obvious realities be crushed under the weight of what another wants, the cost being their rights are no longer valid in the pursuit of the other. Freedom demands we hold on to it, and that we share it by not stripping from others, justice be liberal but justice be now so freedom is always valued.
Freedom, I now understand is also a lack of knowledge. I gave my children a lot of “don’ts” when they were little, but they never once had to make a choice that affected anything or anyone, my love for them protected them and made those choices for them, kept them safe, and taught them to respect others and follow the rules so they could function later within society as adults. As they grew, I took away the rules, I gave them more freedom, and told them, “this how it works, you don’t get brought home by the police, you keep your freedom; you break their rules, then I reinstate mine, and no more freedom!” (I am privileged to share that they all remained out of trouble with law and school throughout their pre-adult years, and considering I can’t make that claim, they have my full respect and esteem.)
Freedom means that we have earned or been given opportunity to practice living with the consequences of our actions. Most people aren’t ready for freedom, that is why we have laws and sue each other! We need charity, which means, we need some higher authority making decisions on our behalf because we fail to understand that true freedom means we have to stand in judgment, we have to fight the devil, we must be willing to say, “Yeah, God, I’m confident in who I am to stand before you, or else be firm in our confidence that we don’t have too!”
It is often overlooked in society. We fight for freedom, we demand it; but to care for the poor, the sick, the homeless, the innocent, the uneducated, and many more we have make decisions on their behalf or accept they have the right to ask for help or not ask for help. If they don’t, then freedom requires they carry the burden, but if they do, then charity demands that we provide for them, and this is done on our decisions because they asked for our help. True, if they are specific and we say, “No,” then the freedom once again demands they carry the burden, but if we offer the charity and they accept, they lay their freedom down for the support being given them.
I don’t see this as negative anymore. It is just mature people, in dire circumstance recognizing their need for humility and seek the assistance, or at the very least, not turn it away when offered; in more stable circumstances we see the need in our neighbors life and we are not going to let them suffer through it alone, so we come up with a plan and offer them assistance, to which we hope they will use until we are able to once again be confident they won’t fail under the weight of their circumstance on their own. This is good balanced living (very Pollyanna I agree, but I must first see the ideal before I can accept that we have done are best in the attempt to reach it.)
In the Garden of Eden, it is the knowledge of Good & Evil that ends the ideal existence with their Creator/Benefactor. It is the knowledge that right and wrong are now absolute, whereas before there was just, “Don’t do that and I’ll take care of the rest.” It wasn’t that reality had changed, good and evil were present, just not labeled so, and thus, anything was excusable accept the “don’ts”, and it was don’t learn the truth, because ….. [here I like to think the Truth was forbidden because the immature always need to then separate things, while the mature understand, “you were good and evil before you knew it and I kept you with me, now it’s you that keep yourself away; God never really gave a shit…it’s just difficult to ever move from knowing and living with it, to knowing and understanding it doesn’t matter when everything is working as it is suppose too, that is until we learn just enough to fuck it all up, and not enough to understand what has happened, never mind the why.”
About a month before I wrote the first quote, I wrote in my journal, “I depend upon Grace because I lack experience.” I knew that I didn’t have the Wisdom to understand how I should use this life, let alone understand the purpose and meaning that seemed absent and empty from who I was, but I was wise enough to know that I had to endure living through something that I hate, manipulation I call it…as I’ve described above, it would be seen as charity from another perspective, but I still am not mature enough to embrace that perspective when not standing in it myself. Even with more experience, I now know the how, and the why’s are more important with that understanding becoming more apparent, and why is something we learn when we find ourselves well outside of it all, because a why in the midst of the storm, is just never an answer that will be good enough to justify the duress by my standards; I will learn it when I am able to carry it.
One more quote from my journal from the same period, “Truth is revealed in a measure of acceptance. One who is unable to bear the weight of the Truth is never asked to carry it.” Sometimes, I’m not able to accept what others are desperately trying to push me into; if it is a truth I can carry I know I will bear that burden, I’m no stranger to this, but if I can’t handle the knowledge something may be presenting, I will always find away to not be aware of what is presented so I honestly don’t have to even weigh the cost of it…because if I know, I carry it, and I don’t usually ask for help…this blog is my way of being transparent, and it is one of the only ones I have that works for me. “
I don’t think as a culture, we in the west, are yet ready to truly bear the burdens of the freedom that comes with what Truth has yet to reveal to humanity, to us as a life-form, and to me personally, but we are moving in that direction, if for no other reason than there are people scattered among us persisting in becoming something more than good & evil can describe, something better than charity can provide, and more than freedom can offer; and the fact that these people are seeking such Truth is the evidence of this unseen reality (Hebrews 11:1 “Faith is the evidence of things unseen.” see previous post http://iamzion.com/2012/09/10/faith-or-imagination/) that what they know already in faith to be real is in fact an existence that will be made known, if not to everyone….it will be to them. They won’t stop knowing, so they won’t stop growing; soon, they hold the understanding (the Why) and we are listening to them say, “don’t do that.”
I only want the Truth I can bear to carry, unless someone else is willing to walk with me every step and make sure I can bear that Truth along the journey. I can’t always accept the rules that help often must enforce with it’s assistance, so I ask for the opposite extreme of the weight of the Truth, someone to bear all the weight for me, and not hinder my progress, otherwise, I choose to walk alone, and will walk straight up that mountain, until I can accept that this is a Truth I can’t live with in my path anymore and can carry it or toss it away. That is my pride, my arrogance, and part of me I can’t get rid of because I depend on that resolute determination to survive; it is why I have literally seen all hell can deliver and bear those scars rather than still cry out in anguish.
Truth is always just what it is; a mountain is just a mountain, and that means little to anyone until that mountain is in your way, or that mountain becomes a need that must be met, like the next heart beat or next breath must be or else…
I offer no advice, I’m just teaching myself a little Wisdom, acknowledging some Wisdom, and doing my best to understand the Way of it all; and Truth is always the one thing that is “in the Way of it ALL!”
Peace be with you,