Feeling Positive

href=”https://iamzion.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/i-am-healthy-and-filled-with-energy_large.jpg”>robyn-nola-logo-pinkIn the overall compilation of my days during the last few years I must admit that a negative tone that accompanies my depression resonates strongest and clearest as the predominant first seat to the symphony of my life.  Yet, today, I choose to share the pleasure of finding myself delighted with the interaction that transpired between this man and the world at large.

Occasionally, I earn extra money assisting in the construction of new homes, specifically drywall texture, and though I have a considerable amount of experience in the field, it is not a job I find rewarding nor stimulating and often have resented feeling trapped when engaged in this as my career.  I now consider my career to be writing and I am willing to live with less expectancy in regards to my lifestyle as I seek to earn a living in a manner that is unpredictable, yet in tune with my deepest passions.  Today, I joined a good friend and contractor in the work necessary to prepare a home for sale (drywall, texture, paint, trim, other odds and ends and cleaning), and we worked hard today.  We keep a fast pace, and don’t stop for the regular lunches and rests that most non self-employed people enjoy, we just push through, 8 or more hours of constant movement in the tedium of home construction.  I feel invigorated because I hit my second wind, my reserve I tap into win running for 10 plus miles and finding that boost to complete what was taxing and finally very satisfying.  The work I engaged in today allowed me to feel that exhaustion and reach my inner reserve along with the exhilaration of the kick of dopamine and adrenaline that floods my eager receptors in the achievement of that invigorating chemical cocktail for the natural high.

Along with the hard work, I enjoyed the company of a couple of lifelong friends who are successful in their pursuits contractors and so the humor, cynical ridicule, and jest that pervade the fellowship of the day is always a delightful accompaniment and I am thankful to have such moments, along with such friends that allow me to assist on a rather relaxed schedule so that my major emphasis in time towards career is free to be filled with the business of becoming an author.

During the day, I carried along a notebook with me to write thoughts in the development of the fictional world that I will be using as the setting for the story I am endeavoring to share in my first novel.  I find the whole creation process very intriguing as I bring this Universe into reality, and I am fascinated with the details that I need to embellish upon so that the people and their cultures feel alive and established, and I was able to pen a few pages to this end during our commute.

loveNow, I’m home and as I write I find my fatigue is no longer the pressure I thought sure would lead to my early bedtime retirement this evening, but I believe I will spend an hour or so developing my earlier thoughts toward my creation and feel the reward of making progress as I see the pages fill with words.  Due to the epic nature and scope of the tale that I lay foundations for today, I am aware that a complete first draft of my manuscript is very likely a year or so of daily toil ahead of me; but the act of inception coupled with the continual application into tangible evidence of my pursuits is allowing me a positive affirmation to believe in what I’m creating and the choice to follow a dream.

I like how I feel at this moment!  I am confident!  I am focused in my attention!  I am pleased with my efforts and my progress today!  I feel good!  I am happy to be in the process of becoming the man I wish to be in my professional career.  Life is GOOD!

I do hope that my fellow bloggers and readers find a similar moment of joy that allows them to savor in the satisfaction to whatever degree they are capable of allowing themselves to be raptured within; it is the significance of such revelations to regular mediocrity that allows them to be so delectably delicious in the emotional deluge I give sway too; I am caught up in the salvation of the moment.  It is the gracious rescue of a journey I find to be my liberation, a new purpose that has given meaning to my previous ambivalence at life accomplishments.

Well, to you I bid:  goodnight…good rest….and Peace be with you!