Finding that pattern that I could step into as I endeavor to write as a career instead of just a hobby has been frustrating in the details. (Although, I’m told until I start earning a stipend that is livable so I know longer have to continue in construction as needed to pay bills it’s still a hobby.) I have tried pen and paper, keyboard, different rooms, but I get so easily distracted at home which always leads to no inspiration as I seek to either capture my thoughts on the mystical search for Truth or toil in nothingness as I contemplate my first novel and the story that has been churning in my mind for a decade without an outlet for it to live.
In my search for an end to mediocrity towards my prose I began making trips to the library for research into subject matters that relate to my theme and when I checked out on loan the books that I found helpful, I noticed they sat unread at home during the weeks leading up to their scheduled return.
Finally, some insight from this connected for me and I decided I needed to treat my new career with some professionalism. I needed to leave and go to work so to speak, so I have made it a daily habit (Monday through Friday) to visit the library and bring my needed utensils with me and spend about 4 hours per day giving my art form the needed ambiance to allow my creative process to ignite, while allowing for my need to pursue my employment with vigor to succeed by giving myself an office and a schedule to meet my self imposed work assignments.
I must admit in developing my own world, races, and cosmic struggle to facilitate my tale, I feel rather omnipotent as I give cultures, societies, religions and factions definition and it is a reality that is completely surrendered to my control as I decide how best to flesh out the details and breathe into existence the epic that now fascinates my mind with intrigue. It is liberating to allow the natural gift for story to flow from me into ideas and scenes. In that freedom I find the reward of finally tapping into the abilities that I allowed to lay dormant for so long and I get the wonderful anticipation of contributing to the work I’m meant to do while chasing this dream of becoming a published author and novelist.
I find that I am torn between passions. I would love to write a book delving into the nature of faith and assist people who are open to an eclectic compilation of finding one’s own path in a spiritual journey that should be a an adventure in self discovery as one seeks to find answers that casual existence seems to keep secret, yet is vivid in revelation to the innocent pursuits of the curious. Spiritual development and the knowledge procured in the quest for eternal enlightenment is something I have gravitated in contemplation for decades and it is exhilarating to gather together those inspirations that have fueled shifts in my operating paradigm in Wisdom and Understanding. I enjoy this, but it is a passion that I question will ever generate a following that would allow for a minimum standard of living above the poverty line, and so in that pursuit I wade into fantasy fiction to garner acclaim for being a storyteller, while hopefully finding that I can indeed be prolific in two different genres and skills. This is my hope and the positive baring that I keep my attitude in careful alignment in my new career and purpose.