Twilight’s fire!

This morning I sat on the patio and watched the Dawn break up the canopy of night and replace the twinkle of the heavens with brilliant blues and rays of yellow and orange.  I watch this time after time, morning after morning and I never tire of it.  I watch this more faithfully than I ever have a tv show, and find it much more awe inspiring.  I don’t love one more than the other, for both night and day have their attractions, but the transitions, the changes that take place at dusk and dawn, are always amazing to me.

It is like two lovers destined to rule in different kingdoms yet twice per day they may come together and the magic they create is one of a kind in splendor and beauty.  The awesome Truth is that if one could travel at a constant speed varied by position on the earth one could live in continual twilight and learn that it is only our view of their love making we see twice per day, they are constantly making love whether we witness day and night together or not.

So much can be learned from that.  I can only imagine a relationship that is functional and mature enough to be in a constant state of love whether apart or together.  That is beyond movie magic, because essentially they only capture the initial honeymoon fazes of a romance, but I’ve heard of romances where though they see each other briefly in the course of their other duties, the time together is such refreshing bliss that it fuels them while they apart and their expectations of coming together again.  This is attainable, although I believe it requires a certain finickiness in choosing a specific lover.  That is not going to be found in even 1 and 1000 couples today, so knowing oneself and who inspires us to our utmost potential should play a part in choosing a mate.

I have been single a long time.  I had married young and spent my youth as a rash and dysfunctional mate for most of it, and I see myself as still trying to prepare for the One with whom I will spend my twilight years.  I don’t mean that as just being older, I do mean my magical years, my years of Wisdom and Understanding, of purpose and destiny.  I won’t give that away easily, it will require someone beyond a dream.  I can only say that because I’ve reached a point that I’m perfectly willing to remain single rather than settle for less.  For me, companionship can be found without taking a mate, and my spiritual life demands so much of my attention, along with my writing and reading….lest we forget my deficiencies and disorders that I must live with on a daily basis, my time is depleted for the giving to anyone other than a lover that is mostly complete within herself, yet together we make brilliance an understatement.  That is what I seek and that is what I will have or I will carry on as I do now, modifying myself more to give more completely to Wisdom as I grow.  I always pursue Wisdom more than anything else.

The first pursuit in knowing how to value a lover is knowing how to value self, then one knows what a lover needs and if we have the ability to meet them.  Of course, one does require that spark “at first sight” to inspire one to inquire more, there always has to be a spark for a fire to blaze.  🙂

3 thoughts on “Twilight’s fire!

  1. Yes, its important you wait for the one that was always yours. We have to become that love before we can live that love, and it seems to me you are learning to love yourself with all the different facets. Bless you in this journey to love.

  2. It’s so interesting to come across this post after reconnecting with a college boyfriend from eight years ago, who I last saw four years ago, and briefly at that. The whole situation definitely gives you some food for thought, especially since our lives have gone through so much since we first met. You never know where life will lead you…or who it might lead you to, and, in the meantime, the best thing to do is get to know yourself and be happy with yourself first and foremost. Then you’ll be ready for whatever life brings.

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