I find the early morning hours to be my favorite time of day now. It is odd how this came about, because I have a lot of trouble with insomnia and it use to be frustrating to me that I couldn’t sleep, until I chose to embrace the hours and spend it writing, reading and meditating….now, from 1 am to 5 am is my most productive and focused wakeful hours I spend and I look forward to them, come 5pm I WANT to go to bed so that I can get up and have this time to myself, away from the world, away from business, away from distractions….simple contemplation and sprinkled heavily with productive writing which, for me, is a contemplative action: forgive my boldness, but I learn more from my writing than I ever do reading others works; I am my favorite teacher!
Often when I do this, like right now, I have no idea what it is I’m going to write. I find a quote that speaks to me and I just start typing, or as in this post, I don’t even have the quote, I just put my fingers on the keyboard and start writing.
For some reason, I am able to do this better in the darkest of night than in the brilliance of the day. I find my muse when I am well rested and completely alone. There is a soothing presence for me in the SILENCE and when I am enveloped by this stillness it stirs in me a brilliance of light that allows me to see what I can’t see, to do what I can’t do, to be who I can’t be at any other time. It is in the recesses of the shadow-land that I find I can magnify the gift I’ve been given into a useful and beautiful tool to expound upon the moments I experience there.
I am not blind to the lack of modesty in my writing at this time, but the simple fact is that I know I’m slightly narcissistic (a characteristic common to an only child). More than that, I’ve spent so much time of this earthly sojourn feeling inept, unimportant, and without meaning, that since I finally see usefulness in my life, and I have found a talent that sets me apart from the crowds, at least so that I can praise myself and be joyful in it, then so be it…the others can think what they will about me, I like me, and as I look around ….I am the only one hear in the darkness to evaluate me and the worth of this time, and it is GOOD!
On the West Coast of America, it is almost 4 a.m. which means the birds will begin chirping for their parents to bring them food soon, and other birds will start singing to bring in the dawn. I will begin walking because I enjoy a 30 minute stroll every morning as the sun begins to crest the horizon, and the world spins out of its heavy black veil to reveal that a new day is upon the Earth. I take a little pleasure in knowning that as most begin to wake with that annoying alarm and start a day they don’t wish to begin, mine has already born fruit and satiated me with fulfillment, and it is just beginning!
Blessed be! 🙂