Finding that pattern that I could step into as I endeavor to write as a career instead of just a hobby has been frustrating in the details. (Although, I’m told until I start earning a stipend that is livable so I know longer have to continue in construction as needed to pay bills it’s still a hobby.) I have tried pen and paper, keyboard, different rooms, but I get so easily distracted at home which always leads to no inspiration as I seek to either capture my thoughts on the mystical search for Truth or toil in nothingness as I contemplate my first novel and the story that has been churning in my mind for a decade without an outlet for it to live. (more…) ∞
It is an apparent reality that humanity has endeavored most of it’s existance in the attempt to explain itself and the unknown circumstances, calamities, and phenomena in one fashion or another, and the most common of those mediums has been the faucet of religion. Throughout religious dogma, writings, and traditions we find the unexplained tackled with zeal (more…)
I hope everyone is having a wonderful day. I am avidly working on the calendar system for the universe in which my future stories will find their place, and with that I draft new language, new science, and the limits of my new wonders seem boundless and I’m eager to develope them into the great adventures that they will soon be for the many who choose to take them into their own minds and live them as well.
I’ll keep this short today, as I’ve already placed a couple of posts on other blogs, please visit if you find the time to do so.
I hope you find the time to visit. Peace and Love be with you.
Zion Marion Amoure
It is the mantra of the one who never seems to fit the mold of the system, click, or culture that he finds himself emersed within: I walk alone! It is a truth that has resounded through the vast corridors of my past and still resonates in the rhythm that continues to be the iambic of my solitary march through life. It hasn’t really ever mattered whether or not I was surrounded by people, watchers, holy or unholy, it just seems that I’m an odd fit when made to be applied to any role other than the One I always play, and that role doesn’t allow for the rigidity to be locked down to the narrow criteria of most systems codes or rules for qualifying membership. I just don’t approach life the same way I find most others predisposed to do….and it is distressing from the point of view of romance and friendship, because I never wanted to be a reclusive sage that piled away his wisdom and never allowed the beauty of truly touching the heart and soul of another so as to share in the treasure that only such complete abandonment to merging of selves can ever hope to discover; the walk of one is for those who should be leaders, commanders, the people who can handle the cost of bearing the burden of their charge alone, setting the standard for those that look to them for the courage and fortitude necessarry to continue when the path seems to have given up all sign of finding the refuge they now desperately find themselves in need. I’m a good assessor of people, a wise man of descerment, but the valiant stable leader who walks alone in all he does has never been my strong characteristic, it is just a fact of life that I have learned to tolerate as my inability to trust others and my circumstances helped to dictate that I must carry on alone iof I am to carry on at all. This is how I find my circumstances so this is what I do, so far from the desire of the future that I always dream will come to fruition in my life along ths never ending journey that I know I will tarry along….forever.
I always tell myself the Truth! It is liberating and at the same time a heavy burden as the freedom to accept that life is what it is while the knowing of the hidden things from the eyes of others keeps me from ever really being one with the same group, because I know, I’m out! It is the fact that I know that I am often faced with the reality that I must chose to ignore the truth and carry on as I am in defiance of the glaring problems that exist and insist that are not in my view or in my life; thus I just pretend everything is okay. Or do I choose to find a new place and expect that the grass is greener on the other side of the same planet? Doubtful, the same things will be found in the same garden, the same toils, snares and pitfalls in the same wilderness among the same specie. It is the way of the reality where I find myself to be. To confront is an effort that has proven to be a task in frutility as it produces the same results everytime, and this is something that I can no longer tolerate participating in, so the quandry persists….how do I fare in this? how do I find my place to contribute to others in a world that my place is always somewhere else that has no portal to step through to enter. I’m a pathfinder, with a path that doesn’t exist to follow, and I am finding it a grave depression to continue to just fight to exist when my existence is never what I fought to have in the first place!
I am having an emotional delima over the fact that it appears that even though I find it intriguing to know the purpose and meaning of my life, to know I’m a lover and a friend that sets the standard for such beyond expectation while never seeking anyone to commit to such an application of devotion themselves; this is how I view love. I don’t seek to be loved the way I desire and love another, but I do seek to be needed so that my commitment is both necessary and valued. This allows me to experience the purposefulness of the very things I worked so hard to attain in the fight to become a man worthy to be given such an honor. In the process of that war to change the essence of this man I lost the things I once held dear, those preoccupation that once defined the beliefs I thought to be the point of existence left to gather dust in the deseart that parched my soul and refined me into the birth of a new creation that understands life, relations, the universe, and so much more in far different terms than what I began with as young man with a foreign name and a serious lack of meaning to go with it.
Out of the desert walked the One that calls himself Zion Amoure, the meaning being that of Heaven’s Love, not so much to be equated with any one religions view, as the heaven I envision is not described in any such texts that I have foudn, but it is a reflection and description of the Love I sought to learn from the teachings of Jesus, and have applied to allow me to love with unconditional fervor for another. It is only with such determined commitment that love breaks through the strongest boundry of another … “fear”! Love must prove that it will never be lost, could never be wronged to such an extent that it will cease to exist or turn away from the object of its affection. Only such a pervasive Love is capable of showing another that there is no reason to FEAR that in my eyes, in my heart, in my life, the love will never end and that person will always find me loving them, today, tomorrow, and eons along the journey forward…ever faithful to keep the desire and passion for the other a constant reality of the universe. I love this way, because it is the one thing I always wanted from another soul, another spirit, just one other person to offer up such fire for me, and never found; thus I chose to love another in the way I longed to be loved myself, and continue to seek to prove that this love is the love that defines the meaning and purpose of an everlasting life, and brings with it the hope of a day, a new way, a new experience to cherrish in the now…forever.
Even just writing this, reminds me of my passion and eases my fallen contenence so that I am uplifted to once again carry on. Yes, I carry on alone but only in person, never in mind or spirit…and it is enough to believe in the possiblity of a someday the miracle of knowing that I might be the One important enough to be needed for the very purpose I now claim to an expert in….loving the one that gives meaning to my existence.
Peace and Love be with you,
Zion Marion Amoure
Hi everyone…it’s a beautiful day where I am and I hope it is where you are too! I just added a new post to my livejournal blog and thought I would invite you all to come by and have aread and make comment. Hope to see you there.
I have just started another new blog through Opera, the browser I’m using in the development and administration of the network I’m attempting to build and this blog is to record my journey through that process. Beyond that, I hope for it to become the company blog for the IamZion website once I finally get everything up and running and bring this whole thing into one package to offer to the internet web community and beyond. :-) I like to dream big, or I just don’ dream at all!!
Here is the address: http://my.opera.com/imasaint/blog/
Stop by for a visit and leave a comment. Thanks.
It is something I’ve grown accustomed to over the years, yet it is sometimes a toil and a chore to sift through the data that I intake for one subject (ie. social networking) while my mind separates, sifts, and collates the various bits into entirely different topics and understandings applicable to other areas of my life. I find myself diligent in the study of a subject and have to keep 3 or 4 open notebooks so that I can jot down notes regarding things that have nothing to do with each other when viewed directly, yet the through indirect interpretations connection suddenly applies to my journey along spiritual enlightenment in the form of awakening to the Truth of reality, connection symbolizes the future of a relationship that I desire yet has not so far been allowed to progress into the dream I have a passion to give life too, connection also opens the thought process up to the beauty of knowing that a relationship that I once thought beyond hope for possibility is an actual real tangible reality that although fragile in its infancy and present limitations it is still able to grow and be expressed which it never has been allowed to before. Connection gives meaning to the plans I am making for the network that I am only now beginning to lay the foundations that will support what it will become through the efforts I am rigorously applying myself to today. Connection cuts deep as I am confronted with the truth that a friend that I thought was dear and close has proven to be someone who would use me for ridicule and jest, and never regarded me as the friend that was projected in the days of my naivety. So connections also mean wounds, and a need for self-protection, which is ironically what lead me to start looking into learning internet security and the door to reading about social networks and privacy that gave rise to all these paths of thought, emotion, and growth.
This eclectic and even chaotic process of learning is the Way that I have developed for my ADD and slightly paranoid mind to give its best performances in using the often resented instability of thought process to become a colage of pathways for greater wisdom into the various avenues of usefulness and need in my life and the lives of those my life comes into contact. It is good to feel that a handicap can be turned to a usefulness in the often dramatic and emotionally ramp it stampede I must call my life as I now understand it to be. For all its lacking and distastefulness to what I would like to be, it is still something to be thankful for in that it seems that so many have suffered much more than the mere cross that I had to bear. (Don’t read into that, unlike Christ, I don’t go to my cross willingly, they nailed me there kicking and screaming against my will!!!!)
I forgot to repost my LiveJournal entry from yesterday over here for WordPress, so here is the link to that post if you care to journey over and have a read. http://journalofzion.livejournal.com/
It is a beautiful day, and I believe I will step outside and connect with the universe in a way that just can’t be done through the internet.
Have a wonderful day, and evening. Blessings upon you and Peace!!
Sorry everyone, I haven’t written in a while. I’m in the process of discovering more about my place in this world and the relationship I have within the structures of reality that I once thought were firm and now know to be less than ideal for foundations and plans for the future.
I live in an existence that keeps me stretched between the spiritual and the physical, the emotional and the stoic, the practical and the fantasy, and the evident and the enigma. Every part of my existence is in flux most of the time, because of the choices I have made in seeking truth and never being willing to accept less than the culmination of my purpose in the venture I found myself engaged to do. I must be able to touch the extremes while still fully capable of finding my way back to a balance that allows me the vantage given to the most malleable substances known to exist. I must appear to conform enough to allow me to exist within a system while never becoming a part of the system itself. In doing that I must also remain true to the one rule I keep so as to have the one place in my life that does not ever change, nor vary from its course and remains my home port for all my endeavors.
I’m not surprised to find that even though things aren’t what they seem in the view presented for me to assimilate as the real world, I still find that the discovery of the real behind the mask is just as intriguing and alarming as not having known to look for it the first place. I state this because often it seems the world would seek to surprise me and it is almost always faltered in the attempt as I hate surprises and this coupled with an ardent sense of paranoia I am always watching for the next surprise to unravel before me so as to show me the secrets of the moment before they are displayed for the view of the universe as a whole.
I am currently learning computers. I have never studied html, tcp/ip, networking, dns hosting, and Internet structure before a month ago and this all came about because of others hacking my accounts with blue host, my email accounts with google and Microsoft, and then hijacking my various blog sites so that I couldn’t even enter them to blog. I soon discovered that the only way to combat such a thing far beyond my own abilities, is to get to know the terrain, the venue, and the medium in which all this is taking place so I am hard at work learning what I can each and every day.
I hope to be able to learn this internet and computer tech so as to make use of it in the future, besides just expending my interest and hobby into the blogosphere. My pursuit in these areas will be worthwhile and I hope to be skilled in these areas within a couple of years as I push forth in this effort to learn this field that I never fully appreciated before now.
I hope you all will keep following this blog and as I get my sites and other blogs situated and tethered to my website, I hope you will follow those as well. I still keep the passion for the unrequited love that has allowed me to be a romantic and seeker of more intimate understandings, for it is the pivot and port to which I refered to earlier, and that is a part of me that will remain true both now and forever.
Please forgive the rather haphazard thought process in this, but I’m just at the library and only have a few moments to make a post before I head out. I had to rebuild both my computers due to viruses, one is off to the shop and the other is awaiting new parts.
Peace to all of you, and Namaste!!!
I haven’t yet figured out how to import logs from my new journal, and keeping this site open is the only way to reach my followers, so I will bring the pages to you and you can decide if you want to become followers of my other blogs. I will be using my new domain as a hub but I explain this more in the first entry of my newest journal, and I start another tomorrow. Enjoy. http://journalofzion.livejournal.com/808.html
I don’t usually make blog entries as short posts but I’m having trouble reaching my 1100 wordpress followers now that I’ve changed domains, and so I’ve tried to set up something so this will posted via my other acount, which for WordPress.com bloggers, will have to act as my primary account because i don’t have a work around with them, and I want to do more with my platform than what they allow with their framework for their service. So, if your this respond and let me know, I’ll write more tonight, but I need to know if this is going to work. Thanks for the help everyone.
I gained it slow,
by climbing slow,
by catching at the twigs that grow,
between the bliss and me…
Emily Dickinson (more…)
href=”http://iamzion.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/i-am-healthy-and-filled-with-energy_large.jpg”>In the overall compilation of my days during the last few years I must admit that a negative tone that accompanies my depression resonates strongest and clearest as the predominant first seat to the symphony of my life. Yet, today, I choose to share the pleasure of finding myself delighted with the interaction that transpired between this man and the world at large. (more…)